1. I have too many other schoolwork-type-things to do: reading, reading, and more reading; research and writing for the Memory Project; reading and writing for Cultivating Voice, writing center appointments for Cultivating Voice practicum, academic statement, etc.
  2. I have too many non-schoolwork things to do. This feels like a pathetic excuse when I know that many of my classmates have jobs and families in addition to their schoolwork and I have no such entanglements. Still, life seems to be composed of infinite errands, chores, phone calls, appointments, etc, and something has to give.
  3. I don’t prioritize the journal. It doesn’t seem important to me when I’m not doing it. When I am actually engaged in reflective writing, it feels valuable, but when I’m not, it’s very easy to write it off as not enhancing my learning at all.
  4. I am not a journal-er. I used to be, and I was obsessive about it: writing down every detail of my days and every thought I could hold onto long enough to bind it to paper. But I think I used all of my journaling energy in those years. Now I’d often rather think in conversation.
  5. I have trouble with class journals or any type of ongoing assignment with no/few due dates. In eighth grade my math teacher only required homework to be in by the end of the month. You could turn it in every day, receive a stamp on your homework calendar, and probably improve your learning, but I always ended up leaving it all for the end of the month. Not coincidentally, eighth grade was also the first time I got less than an A in math. It’s very hard to do 20 homework assignments in one weekend, and also very hard to actually learn math concepts and skills without practicing. Though this journal is not exactly like those algebra problems, I should probably consider that the same principle may apply, that I might be depriving myself of an opportunity to learn and develop.
  6. Trying/allowing myself to not care: when I understood that my attendance will probably prevent me from earning full credit, I gave up a little. I have always been a perfectionist, and for a perfectionist, “it won’t be perfect” is often followed by “so stop trying.” Giving up also allowed me to zone out when I am bored in seminar or lecture, to continue to hit snooze too many times, to turn in my project outline late. The thing is, though, that I do still care. I am trying to care less about perfection and credits, and more about learning, growth, and making good work, but I know in my wiser moments that showing up, paying attention, and writing and thinking reflectively and critically will help with both kinds of achievement.