Journal Entry 4: Personal Journey
5/12/15
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this good. I love the subject matter in which I am learning and the people that surround me in the class. I feel like I am finally getting what I came to The Evergreen State College for, a passion and excitement for knowledge and for the exchange of experiences and the wisdom of others, a real education.
I never felt happy at my last traditional college. I was learning yes, but not on a deeper level. I wasn’t learning to learn; rather I was more so learning to get a grade and a good G.PA. I wasn’t walking out of class still thinking about what I had just studied and excited to talk to others about it. Although I love learning and I know I am intelligent, the typical school system is not compatible with my learning style. School has never come easy to me. Because of this I have always had to work extra hard to receive good grades. Working extra hard isn’t all bad, don’t get me wrong; it has equipped me with some very valuable skills, like patience, determination, perseverance, appreciation and gratitude for my successes. Although I am thankful for the strength it has given me, I can’t pretend it was ever easy or enjoyable. I have failed over and over in school. The first quarters are always the hardest, as I am trying to get back into the routine of balancing class work and just the many aspects of school all around. This is usually when I’m working hardest to figure out how I work best in each of my classes and with each of my teacher’s expectations. Unfortunately this requires a lot of trial and error which doesn’t always look so good on a report card. The report card doesn’t explain how hard I worked or how much progress I made in my learning.
I remember I finally done the best I had ever done in school the Spring Quarter of my Freshman Year when I was still living in California. I had taken a 16 credit load and gotten one “B” and the rest of my grades “A’s”. I was so frustrated as I was so close to getting all A’s. Not only was I frustrated but I wasn’t happy. I had worked so hard for this, and for what? Because I had to put all my attention on school and work in order to get those grades I had no social life, I was constantly alone. When I wasn’t studying I was working and vs. versa. I was always completely mentally and physically exhausted and I didn’t even like or care about what I was learning. It had sucked up all my time and all my happiness. This is when I decided I needed a change. My friend told me about how Evergreen worked and I was instantly drawn to the idea. Here, I am actually able to learn, feel excited about what I am learning and still live my life. I don’t feel guilty for having a social life or enjoying my time anymore. I made the right choice in coming here.