On page 593 the narrator is walking with Elstir back to Elstir’s villa when he sees the band of girls he’s been obsessing about in the distance. He immediately concludes that they are judging him and freezes in anxiety when Elstir goes to meet them.
“Suddenly, as it were Mephistopheles springing up before simple objectification, unreal and diabolical, of the temperament diametrically opposed to my own, of the semibarbous and cruel vitality of which I, in my weakness, my excess of tortured sensibility and intellectuality, was so destitute – a few spots of the essence impossible to mistake for anything else, a few spores of the zoophytic band of girls, who looked as though they had not seen me but unquestionably engaged in passing a sarcastic judgment on me.”
Instead of going with Elstir he stays behind and pretends to be intrigued by the antique store window. He then assumes that Elstir will call him over and introduce him and in his imagination starts acting out the entire story of their potential introduction. The reason this particular moment in the book stands out to me is because I believe this scene really portrays a theme of lustful youth, and we really get a clear understanding of how insecure and anxious the narrator is at this point in his life. The narrator is so nervous to talk to these girls that instead of actually going up and talking to them he just gets lost in his own head thinking up different scenarios in which he would interact with them.
He cares so much about what others think that he cannot allow the girls to know that he has any interest in them at all, afraid of embarrassing himself or of being rejected. Instead he acts completely bored and uninterested when they are around.
“I was not sorry to give the appearance of being able to think of something other than these girls, and I was already dimly aware that when Elstir did call me up to introduce me to them I should wear that sort of inquiring expression which betrays not surprise but the wish to look surprised…” Pg.593
Instead of taking the situation into his own hands he almost just depends on the fact that a situational circumstance will bring him together with the girls. He fantasies the whole time on how they would meet, he’s gone over the whole moment so many times that he can perfectly describe each girls individual features. He often even compares the girls to objects.
“I saw Elstir standing a few feet away with the girls, bidding them good-bye. The face of the girl who stood nearest to him, round and plump and glittering with the light in her eyes, reminded me of cake on the top of which a place has been kept for a morsel of blue sky.” Pg.595
He assumes that Elstir will call him over and introduce him, and when he doesn’t and parts ways with the girls the narrator becomes immediately distraught. Instead of blaming himself for not walking up and introducing himself to the girls he instead puts all the blame on Elstir. Dramatically the narrator acts as though this was his only chance as though fate did not want them to meet. He believes that the brief moment of eye contact is all he’ll ever get.
“For a moment her eyes met mine, like those traveling skies on stormy days which approach a slower cloud, touch it, overtake it, pass it. But they do not know one another, and are soon driven far apart. So now are looks were for a moment confronted, each ignorant of what the celestial continent that lay before it held by way of promises or threats for the future. Only at the moment when her gaze was directly coincident with mine, without slackening its pace it clouded over slightly. So on a clear night the wind-swept moon passes behind a cloud and veils its brightness for a moment, but soon reappears. But already Elstir had left the girls without having summoned me. They disappeared down a side street; he came towards me. My whole plan was wrecked.” Pg.595
I think that this illustrates lustful youth because the narrator is completely obsessed with the girls, specifically Albertine, yet has no idea who she really is. He can describe to you in length every detail of her face but cannot muster the courage to talk to her. He claims he is in love with her, but his love is based solely on appearance. He has confused lust for love. He doesn’t seem to grasp the concept that she is actually a person but rather sees her more as an enchanting object, a pure creation from his own mind.
He is primarily seems to only be able to see things from his own perspective or self-interest which is a common behavioral trait for a young adult.