In Search of Lost Time

The Evergreen State College

Category: Fieldwork (Page 3 of 3)

Memory Project Excerpt

On May 18, 1980, 8:32 AM, an earthquake on Mount Saint Helens’ north slope caused the volcano to violently erupt, spewing pyroclastic debris across the state. My father’s parents were living in Selah, near Yakima, Washington, when the eruption blanketed the town in sand and ash. My grandfather Merle remembers getting the news over radio after church (Merle and his wife Dorothy have been attending 8 o’clock church for decades, so it’s likely they got the news around 9, in the garden courtyard, which, by the time I was born, had been covered and fittingly renamed the Garden Room), driving home as ash began to fall (and the inability of windshield wipers to clear away volcanic ash), and the darkness of the bright spring day turned night.
On May 18, 1995, I was born to Kay and Derek Smith at Yakima Valley Memorial Hospital. My parents had been married for almost 6 years, a period through which they struggled with tragedy and infertility. They don’t talk about it much, but I know they almost had a son named Cooper, and were considering adoption. But their luck changed, and they had me. My mother says I was a miracle baby. When I was 2, my sister Karly was born. At around 4am on June 24, 1997, I toddled into my parents’ bedroom, looking for food or attention or whatever it is a 2 year old suddenly needs at 4 in the morning. My mom settled me down, and on returning to her bed noticed a large pool of blood where she had been lying–generally not a good sign. Derek got me clothed, sat me in the car, called his parents, and drove me and Kay to the hospital, which we happened to live about 2 minutes away from, and my sister was delivered via cesarean. My dad remembers seeing (and does a good impression of) Karly’s tiny arms raised to her tiny scrunched-up face as doctors held her above the operating table. Things might have gone worse if I hadn’t woken up my mom–as it was, Karly had to spend months under glass, in an incubator, in a neonatal intensive care unit, until she was strong enough to leave the hospital. My mom says I saved their lives. My earliest memory is in that house by the hospital (although the lot where it stood is now just a half-acre of grass) sitting on my mom’s lap in a chair in the living room, my dad bringing Karly over so she could breastfeed, me staring back from my dad’s arms and feeling pretty indignant about the whole switch.
My sister and I both have memories of dreams where Derek lost his head. In my sister’s dream, Dad came into her room with a rose in his mouth, his head toppling off and landing on the floor in front of her, rose and all. In mine, Dad dropped me off at my elementary school for a choir event, and when I came back out, sipping on silver-colored juice, his head had shrunk down to a nub, and I worried about his brain but we could still play checkers. Talking with my dad revealed he had worn a moustache up until a certain point in our childhood. Maybe its shaving kept us from recognizing his “new head”, and so we dreamed about the old one falling off and shrinking away, or maybe our childhood memories are so far away from us that when we look back, we mix them with dreams, or can only recognize them as dreams–or maybe we remember as we experienced the world as children, in surreal dreamy strokes where Dad’s head comes off along with his moustache.
In growing up and leaving home, I’ve begun to experience the phenomenon where my parents appear less and less as the omnipresent guardian denizens of Mom and Dad, but as Kay and Derek, as people, with identities and memories and fears and triumphs, who have lived through life at my age and whose situation I might one day be in. Additionally, as time continues to drag on, the older generations of my family become smaller and smaller, and I realize that family isn’t a permanent fixture, but a structure of relationships that constantly changes as people are born, die, and move about in between. Winter quarter this year (my freshman year) I got to know and interviewed my partner’s grandmother, and used her testimony to create a life history portrait, which made me eager to turn the lens on my own family. When my mom’s father passed away in 2011, I learned more about him after he died than I ever did when he was alive, so this project is a way of preserving my grandparents’ legacy and family memory when I can still hear it from their mouths. It’s also a way for me to understand my position in my family, which–ironically enough–I feel the most connected to after moving out.
To conduct research, I used a weekend to take a visit to Yakima. It’s a long way by bus–6 hours in total from Olympia to Tacoma to Seattle to Yakima–but I enjoy travel. Sleep-deprived and semi-delirious, I chugged a cup of coffee and scratched in my pocket notebook:
Tacoma loves vapes and titty espresso drive ins. The sharply slanting city, situated between legs of my journey like a groin, used to be in my mind the most populous city in Washington, although minor reference proves that was practically never true. Today I passed through rapidly, taking a second to loiter in Starbucks from bathroom rights, no companion save my wits to show me around. Someday I’ll savor long moments and afternoons sipping tea in Mad Hat, poring over thick texts, but today my destination lays on further horizons. I’m going home, to do fieldwork. Networked buses ferry me over desert, mountains, wetlands, 200 miles from the Evergreen State College, to the east, where the verdancy of the Sound recedes and greybrown foothills fold into the waste. I was born in the Valley and again the Valley I return, to creaky hardwood floors where I slid and stomped my feet, to 100-yr-old concrete pavers and innumerable taquerias. Home is the darkness and silence of a basement bedroom and the passive animosity of territorial cats–mom and grandma discussing celebrity TV dance drama–dad wafting banjo-plucked-bluegrass up the stairwell–sister camped out on living room couch watching Netflix with the subtitles on and headphones in, screen tilted so no parent bears witness. From one life to another in the span of a morning.

At home things have changed very little. I learned my sister has decided to attend the University of Washington next year. I watched my dad mow the lawn while my cat cowered on my lap. My family went out for burgers at a local chain (our traditional christmastime candy cane shake location, although we missed the trip this last December) and drove around town. My mom pointed out the house she had lived in while single–a pueblo-ish duplex–and was unable to locate my dad’s first apartment, although the impression I got was of someplace uniform and grey.
The next day I interviewed my grandparents and my parents, starting with some questions I wrote down in my notebook:
Where did you grow up? What was it like? What were your parents like? What were your siblings like? How was leaving home? What was the first place you lived away from your family?
Which kid was easier to deal with? What were the challenges of being a parent? The rewards? How did you feel when your first kid left? When they were all gone? When they started their own families? The first time you met your grandchildren?

First off was my grandmother Joanna. Grandma Jo is my mom’s mom, an elegant lady with silver hair, an affinity for cardigans and Dancing with the Stars, and an intense dislike of cats, especially on her lap. She has a little place several blocks from our house, but she’s been living with our family for the last 4 years following the death of her husband Bob. She volunteers at the Yakima Union Gospel Mission along with my dad’s parents, serving unhoused people in the community. She does not drive, but regularly walks over to her condo a few blocks away. My grandparents used to stay there a few times a year–during holidays we’d have Swedish dinner with homemade potato sausages, and during summer my sister, Grandma Jo and me (and on very rare occasions my grandfather) would have tea parties and play hide-and-go-seek.
Although Joanna didn’t speak at length about her childhood, I gather it wasn’t very easy. Her father was an entrepreneur and aspiring pastor, and didn’t have much time for family. Her mother was chronically ill, and her older brother was physically abusive (according to my mom. Joanna mentioned her brother’s name during the interview, trailed off, swallowed dryly and changed the subject), and so Joanna was left to take care of her younger sister. They still have a strong bond–Joanna visits Kathy in Bellevue regularly. When I asked my grandmother what she had wanted to be when she grew up, she told me she had wanted to start a family, but placed that desire within the context of her time–the 1940s and 50s. She met Bob in a car on a trip to church camp and they hit it off, getting married about 5 months later–she attributed this decision to the period and circumstances of their relationship. Bob enlisted in the Navy and served with the Seabees (a military construction unit). Their first child was born two years after their marriage–a boy named Karl. (My uncle Karl now lives in Vancouver, WA, with his wife June and their son Kyle. Karl gave me a Weird Al mix CD which I credit as my introduction to popular music. My mom used to tell me about her brother blasting Pink Floyd through their house speaker system, which Bob had wired himself. Bob did a lot of things himself. He assembled the first color TV on their block.)

Todo- write the rest of Joanna’s life portrait, as well as Merle’s, Dorothy’s, Kay’s and Derek’s–with focus on episodes of overlap (like kids leaving home, parents coupling up)–insert quotes from transcript throughout–more themes: death and birth, moving around and staying in one place, what are the effects on a family?–more testimony from my sister–one more interview for each person (or maybe a phone call to clear things up)–exact dates? does it really matter–conclusive thoughts, lessons learned, changes in how I view my position in my family (or maybe how my family members view it)

Memory Fieldwork Project (draft) Alyssa Herr

I remember it was July and Mount Rainier was in the height of visitor season. From Longmire all the way up to Paradise, the park was teeming with people. The snow had receded up the mountain to reveal all the upper hiking trails and making it easier for climbers to navigate their way to the top. The visitor center at Paradise was buzzing with activity and across the way the Paradise Inn with its majestic old growth beams and tall narrow roof was completely booked for the weekend.

I pulled the government sedan into a “reserved for employees” parking spot tucked behind the Visitor Center. The parking lot was completely full and Law Enforcement Rangers were directing people down to the lower lot to park. My windows were down and the smell of fresh mountain air and hot dogs wafted into the car. I sighed inwardly to myself before grabbing my backpack and opening the door.

I’d worked for Mount Rainier National Park for three years doing Northern Spotted Owl surveys for the Wildlife Crew. This year however, was very different. I was chosen to create a program to address the issues in the park regarding wildlife. As in all National Parks, the wilderness is preserved within the boundaries of the park, however when people enter, they bring with them ideas and cultural attitudes that at times can conflict with this idea of wilderness. At Mount Rainier, things had gotten to the point where funding had been set aside to deal with these conflicts.

I placed my pack on the ground and began to rifle through it. I noticed with slight embarrassment that my hands were shaking. I wasn’t sure if it was because of fear or excitement, maybe both. I pulled out the odd contraption that was supposed to be a sling shot. It contradicted the pictures I had in my head from movies and cartoon strips. This device was made of a formable black plastic, with extra hinges and knobs that I had no idea how to use. I was scheduled to go to the shooting range with the Chief Law Enforcement Ranger next week to learn how to shoot rubber bullets with a real gun. For now I had been (in my opinion) irresponsibly armed with a contraption resembling a sling shot with no instruction booklet and a large bottle of bear spray. I decided to go with the spray.

I was responding to a report from a ranger that a bear was hanging around the back of the Paradise Inn where the commercial sized dumpster sat. This was a favorite hangout spot for the kitchen staff to take their breaks and eat their lunches. One of these employees had experienced a very uncomfortable, up close visit from a bear less than 30 minutes prior. I had been immediately called via radio to come deal with the situation.

I strapped my pack on and headed uphill toward the Paradise Inn. I can still see my shadow, on the asphalt as I walked; the sun bright in the clear sky.  I was wearing the park’s green and grey ranger uniform with my gold badge pinned prominently on my upper right chest.  I am sure I looked very professional yet I felt like a fraud. Wildlife crew members don’t get uniforms. There is no funding for it and besides we are not in direct contact with visitors, we are usually hiking around in the back-country doing surveys. However, my new position required lots of direct contact with people and so I had been given a uniform, just like the Law Enforcement Rangers and the Interpretive Rangers.

I walked passed the front of the Inn where people milled around in hiking shorts and sandals. It never ceased to amaze me how unprepared visitors were. We often heard reports over the park radio of medical teams being called up the Paradise trails where foolish visitors, with no water and poor choice in footwear were unable to make it back down to their cars. This cluelessness of wilderness was one of the many reasons I had my job.

Around the side of the Inn the asphalt gave way to gravel alongside the edge of a sharp upward slope covered in sub-alpine flowers. A young Asian kid barely eighteen was sitting nervously on a picnic table alongside the building waiting for me. As I approached he jumped to his feet and I remember noticing how tanned he looked from hours spent on the mountain. He repeated the story I already had heard over the radio. The only new information I did extract, involved the fact he was eating his lunch when the bear approached him. I then pointed to a large garbage bag sitting in the sun beside the back door to the kitchen.  Yes, it was garbage. Yes, he knew it wasn’t supposed to be there. No, he didn’t realize the smell from the bag would tempt the bears.

After watching the boy place the bag into the dumpster and crank back down the lid firmly, I left him with clear instructions to inform the staff I would be back another day to teach them bear etiquette. The boy had pointed toward the far end of the Inn, where the outdoor porch was for visitors to relax, eat and enjoy the Mountain scenery. I pulled the bottle of bear spray from my pack and held it up to read the back. Bear spray, according to the information sheet I had been given was a “sophisticated delivery method utilized to create an atomized blast which produces a pepper cloud slow to dissipate. More effective than foam, stream or cone sprays. The bottle will distribute a large amount of high pressure spray into the target area, requiring less accuracy than other methods”.

On the bottle the instructions read as follows:

  • aim toward the approaching bear; adjust angle for downward wind direction
  • steady your arm and depress trigger with thumb
  • deploy in 2 – 3 second bursts when the bear is 30 feet away;
  • aim the spray slightly above his head as gravity will effect the placement of the spray
  • try not to use the entire contents as more than one application may be needed.

A safety warning at the bottom read:  “persons contaminated with bear spray will experience the mucous membranes of the eyes, nose and lungs to swell and be irritated. The eyes will involuntarily close and tear, the nose will run profusely, coughing will result. It may take up to 15 – 20 minutes before relief from the symptoms are felt. If the symptoms persist seek medical attention”.

This was surely going to teach any old bear who was really boss in this park I thought.  I plucked the safety tab from the nozzle and creeped toward the end of the building. I could hear the chatter of visitors on the porch; laughter, kids squealing, silverware clinking on plates. Since I didn’t hear any screaming I knew the bear was not on the porch. Unfortunately where the porch ended the meadow started. Large bushes and a few trees flanked the beginning of the meadow, tall enough to block  an old employee only  dirt road that headed off down below the parking lot. As I reached the road I could make out distinct bear prints in the dust.

Joe, one of the volunteers for the Wildlife Crew once said to me “the best action to take around a bear is to go in the other direction”.  The memory of him telling me this came back to me as I stood there looking at the bear tracks. My job at the park was to teach people how to be safe around wildlife, and to teach wildlife to stay away from people. To do this I had to go against everything I was teaching!

My love of wildlife is deeply rooted in my childhood. I’ve admired nature and all its creatures big and small, ferocious and docile. As a veterinarian technician I have wrestled rottweilers and as a wildlife rehabber I’ve caught bald eagles the size of a 3 year old child.  I’ve stalked around the back country at night hooting for owls when cougars are active and I’ve been up close and personal with captive wolves, through all my experiences I have never been truly scared. Standing there alone with my bear spray, aimed and ready, I found myself feeling for the first time a slight sense of distress.

Heroes on the Water

 

   Introduction

My name is Richard Wark, and I am the Safety Coordinator, a guide, and one of the founding members of the Heroes on the Water North West Chapter. To fully understand this writing, there are a few things you should know.

Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a mental health condition triggered by a terrifying event. The person suffering from PTSD may have been the victim of this event, or simply a witness. Although people have no doubt been suffering from this disorder since the beginning of time, it wasn’t until the American Psychiatric Association wrote the third edition Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in 1980 that PTSD was considered a sickness or disability.

Traumatic brain injury (TBI) is typically a physical injury caused by a sharp blow or jolt to the head, and are often related to PTSD due both to the terrifying event leading up to the injury, and because PTSD is often viewed as a physiological injury to the brain. Anyone may suffer from these disabilities, but they most often belong to the men and women of our armed forces, police officers, firefighters, and emergency medical technicians.

Last but not least, I am a disabled veteran who honorably separated from the Air Force after 13 years active duty service. I do not suffer from a TBI, nor PTSD, but hold a very special place in my heart for those that do.

 

 

It was June of 2000. I was a young 22 year old convalescing on my mother’s couch after an inguinal hernia repair. There had been a motorcycle accident a month prior leaving me with this nasty groin tear. The surgery was soon to be the least of my worries though. At 22, and not in college, I was no longer blanketed by my mother’s health insurance. To add insult to injury, my chosen profession at the time was to be a server and bartender. This was the most fun a young adult could have in the area while still earning a substantial amount of money. I lived on Florida’s Space Coast, so tourist and snowbirds were in no short supply. The problem here was the lack of benefits. Namely medical at his moment. We all made enough money to carry our own plans, but that’s not nearly as much fun as spending in night clubs, trips, and hotel stays! This was soon to bite me in the ass, while at the same time carving a tremendous fjord trumped only by the Rongku Glacier of Mt Everest too steep for escape.

I’d found the proverbial rock and hard place we’ve all been warned of. While my freshly repaired body weighted mom’s couch as if it could float away in my absence, the medical debt began to accumulate. It was small at first. Maybe $150 for the initial family practice consult. Then there was a referral to the general surgeon. After that the hundreds became thousands, became tens of thousands. Unfortunately there were no gratuitous customers visiting her small two bedroom apartment which had become my prison. Even if there had been, the recovery instructions were to lift no more than a gallon of milk for a minimum of six weeks. What an impressive spectacle I must have been…

There were lots of friends who would break the monotony of pain killers and television with their visits. They would tell stories from their daily adventures, and I could vividly picture it since these were things we often did together. Although the company was always welcomed, I was steadily slipping into a darker place each time they left to do any number of fun things leaving me behind assuming the role of living room furniture. The majority of these friends earned their living in the hospitality industry hustle just like myself. We had all met in the restaurants, and bars where we shared a common thirst for tips and good times. Except for one.

Ryan was in the Air Force, and was assigned to Patrick Air Force Base in the Security Forces Squadron. For those of you not versed in military speak, he was an Air Force police officer. Ryan would frequently surf and fish within this circle of friends, and occasionally ventured into Orlando’s night life when his schedule would allow. It wasn’t that he was uptight, he just happened to be the only one with a “real job”.

This was the first time I had been removed from the hustle and flow of daily life. The steady combined flow of party friends coupled with Ryan’s visits really allowed me to look in from the outside. As much as I enjoyed the fast easy money associated with serving, there was something to be said for Ryan’s comparative way of living. I didn’t know what it was, but it looked right. He dressed nice, was in great physical shape, drove a late model sports car, and all of his sporting gear from fishing rods to surfboards were always a step above the rest. Maybe there was something to this Air Force thing after all.

For whatever reason, asking Ryan in depth about what he really did, or how he truly felt about being a Staff Sargent (E-5) in the Air Force didn’t feel right. This was incredibly silly in hind sight, because we were pretty good friends. At the time though, I just absorbed all the details to paint my own picture. Soon I could drive to the recruiter’s office on my own.

You will forever remember your recruiter if you went the distance. I’ve had people tell me they couldn’t recall certain details like the recruiter’s name, or rank. Maybe they were telling the truth, but I immediately wrote that off as a display of chauvinism. Too many people can recall minute details from “their” recruiting office to buy into the macho garbage of “I’m too cool to remember such things”. Mine was Senior Airman Josh Harbin. He was a tall quasi chubby guy (chubby for the military anyhow) with dark red almost brown hair and blue eyes. His face was somewhat round with big puffy cheeks and small’ish teeth. His appearance always reminded me of a 230lb four year old. He was a quirky guy, and his Air Force Specialty was Dental Hygienist. You don’t simply enlist as a recruiter. It’s a special duty assignment that must be applied for later in your career, and only occupied for a short tour. Other branches do things a bit different, but in the Air Force it takes an intelligent person with the right drive to fit the bill.

During our initial meeting, Josh was concerned by my hernia repair, the amount of time since taking the Armed Service Vocational Aptitude Battery (ASVAB) test, and what this medical debt might do to my credit if not reeled in. Once over the age of 21 he had to run a credit report on potential enlistees. Bad credit equals no Air Force career. Neither of us wanted me to accumulate any further medical debt, so he devised a plan to do this all on Uncle Sam’s dime. If he could get me into the Military Entrance Processing Station (MEPS), they would conduct a physical entrance exam. First thing’s first. The ASVAB.

Timing was critical. We couldn’t move too fast otherwise I’d blow the physical. However if things took too long my credit could be negatively effected. Josh might have looked like a big child, but he was smart and good at playing this game. Two weeks after our initial meeting and I was in a quiet testing room for the first time in over 4 years. Nothing about the ASVAB was overly difficult, but it still felt like a test. A month later the results were in. 96 out of a possible 99! I was in there like swimwear! Off to the first of several trips to MEPS. This was not the norm for most new recruits. Usually your first trip to MEPS is your only one. They move you through the process, and right out the door to Basic Training. Not me though… Not this time.

We were herded from station to station much like live stock at auction. They consisted of shot records, preforming various physical activities depending on branch of service and section desired, medical physicals, and then to career advisors to help pick jobs. This was also the first time I interacted with my peers also enlisting. Their stories of “why” were things like; fresh out of high school with no other ambitions, wanting to provide for a young family, needing escape from a troubled past, and the number one reason was college. Some as a way to attend, and some utilizing programs to consume student loans. The least common although it did come up was for the military experience or heritage passed down through generations.

Surprisingly I made it through all the physical challenges! Even Josh’s plan for an Air Force doctor to clear my hernia repair was as simple as an awkwardly placed hand, turn of the head, and forced cough. It’s in to see the career advisor! I had aced the test, and all physical challenges, so I knew he would be generous with offers. I wasn’t expecting what came next though.

Four three ringed binders not less than five inches thick. These contained laminated sheets with job names, descriptions, and proper Air Force Specialty Codes. The career advisor and I thumbed through these books discussing jobs for a solid two hours. During our time, I compiled a short list of jobs as they would peek my interests. Just when he began to apply pressure for a final decision, I took my list and walked out. He was irate! “This isn’t how the process works! I wasn’t about to jump both feet into a job strictly based on his advice and a basic description, but this was Josh’s grand plan all along.

A few weeks later and it was back to MEPS, but once again this wouldn’t be the big day. It was early November, and this time we stayed in a hotel overnight. The closest MEPS was in Jacksonville, FL about 3 hours north for me. The hotel was one all local recruiters sent their new enlistees. We soon banded together for games of football and ultimate Frisbee. The hernia had heeled nicely and I was working and playing again. While bonding with my newfound group of brothers, the typical conversations of “why” would arise, and the answers were all the same as before.

MADELINE’S – MEMORY FIELD WORK 4-5 page DRAFT

 

In a slow pace she collects her crochet needles in her hand and pulls the different colored yarn through the whole of the octagon shaped organizer. She grabs for the Venetian red yarn holding a strand of it between her ring and index finger. The color brought me back to the seventh grade, sitting in the front office awaiting her arrival. When suddenly I hear the click-clack beat of stilettos on the tile floors leading to the office. From where I rested my head on the wall to the principle’s office and closed my eyes I could only imagine her fine posture held together in a form fitting black and white pinstriped pant-suit and the venetian red stilettos. The click-clack of her stilettos stopped and I opened my eyes to find her there both hands placed on her hips, her purse supported by the pit of her forearm. I couldn’t help but smile, at her confidence and at her simple beauty. “Come on baby, we have things to do” she held out her hand and I took it. I placed my fingers in between hers like I did when I was younger, to feel her firm grip but to play with her many rings. Her beautiful long finger delicately glides from the opening of the organizer and up to the tip of the red yarn. She attaches it to the needle beginning on another of her projects. I can’t help but wonder if she can make me a bag while she sits there. Not a word was said; there was only the silence around us. She clears her throat and the soft clicking of the crochet needles working away then grew audible. Finally she takes a deep breath; “ It was July 21st, 1979 I was fourteen years old and we were at the Liberation Day Parade and Carnival. My mom wanted me to find my sister Darlene, so my cousin Carmen came with me to find her. We were walking around the graveled carnival, passing the many booths and vendors. I think we might have passed by the same game booths before we found her, because the same girl as before was standing at the gambling booth while the attendant announced, ““Place your bets, place your bets, bets down! Hands off the counter! And the lucky color is red! Pay Red, pay red!” When I found Darlene she was not at the carnival in fact she was talking with some friends that she met on the CB. They were sitting in the bed of their dad’s truck. She introduced me to Joe (my husband), his brother Tom and their two friends. Politely, I greeted the four of them and went on my way. The next day Joe came over with his friends to talk to my sister Darlene. He wanted to see me again so he made some lame excuse to my sister to get me out of the house. She called into the house for me to come say hi; which exactly is what I did. I came out said, “Hi, “and ran back inside. Now that I think of it, he might have been into me but I had other options going on at the time. A week later on the 29th of July, Governor Paul Calvo was having a fiesta at Ypao beach for his birthday. The way this man partied was unbelievable. It wasn’t exclusive; in fact it was open for everyone and I kid you not the entire island was there. When we arrived at the party, the parking lot was already filled up with cars. A lot of the guests were already parking outside of the lot leading up to the facility on the beach. My sister Doll was driving and signaled to the rest of the cars that followed us to park next to the big coconut tree that surprisingly had enough room for all of us to park together. The minute we got out of the car, I could feel his eyes already on me. It wasn’t in a creepy way, but I knew he wanted to talk to me. So I slunk back to where he was away from the group we even walked around the party together. Our conversation was normal, it was as if we were on our first date by all the questions we had for one another. At one point he asked me if I would walk with him along the beach. I didn’t see why not so I followed him. The sun had already gone down when he asked to hold my hand, just in case there was something ahead that might make me trip or as if he thought I was afraid of the dark. Regardless that I wasn’t scared of the dark, I held his hand anyways. We wondered into a cavern on our adventure on the beach but that was when the memory of us get’s a little fuzzy but I do remember him saying, “Once I’m in a relationship I’m in it all the way” he wanted to know if I wanted to go out with him and I thought he was cute, so I said yes and we shared our first kiss. That following Monday he walked to my house after he got off at summer school. At the time my family had a five-gallon aquarium, and my task was to clean it. He helped me clean it; he liked to do things like that with me. From that point forward he was at my house every day, night and after we got out of school. We attended two different schools (especially since he’s three years older than me) so around the time I got off the bus; he would call to make sure I got off the bus okay to assure my safety. I found it charming and sweet of him.

I remember baking a cake for him on his eighteenth birthday. We celebrated at my parent’s house. That was when he told me that he never had a birthday cake before because his family couldn’t afford it, and that made me sad because I couldn’t empathize to him.

My husband joined the Military after his nineteenth birthday. He went over seas to Germany for basic training and I was only in the eleventh grade. We talked a lot over the phone while he was over there it built up a large amount on the phone bill, but Joe would send money for the bill. After a while, the phone calls didn’t come as much and I got tired of waiting on him, especially since I was in high school and was being asked out being in a relationship with him was holding me back. So we broke up.   He came back on Valentines Day two years later. I only knew he was back because I overheard my little brother Raymond talking to my mom that, “Joe called! Did you tell Mary Lou?” I freaked out, “What do you mean Joseph called is he here?” I darted for the landline and dialed his house number. When he answered I yelled at him for not calling me when he landed. “You better get to my house by five o’clock. If you don’t, don’t bother ever coming over!” He didn’t come over by five, he actually came over at eight. I figure now that he probably was trying to spend some time with his parents and siblings before he came over. I didn’t shun him away though, we actually talked and got back together that night. He was to leave for Fort Lewis, Washington shortly after we started dating and that was the day when he came over to my sister’s apartment. While they were inside he asked me if he could marry me. After he left for Washington I was thinking that we would get marry in a couple years. Then November came, and he calls me. He told me that his parents were going to fa’mai sen saina (to ask my hand in marriage) But in the mean time, Joe called my house and talked to my dad over the phone for his blessing and permission to marry me. When ended up getting married a month later on December 17th, 1983. We Left Guam ten days later after we got married to our first duty station in Fort Lewis Army Post in Washington State.

Washington was a entire new experience for me, I’ve never lived anywhere else but Guam. I especially didn’t know about sales tax in the states, but I needed to buy snow boots. I found a pair of boots at the PX. The boots price were $19.99 and I had a twenty dollar bill. The lady was expecting me to give her two dollars and some cents more. “No I get a penny back, I have a twenty.” The lady looked at me and said, “But sales tax.” “Oh, well we don’t have sales tax in Guam.” Then she started explaining what it was and I came back later that day with the rest of the money for the boots. You see I didn’t do much when we moved to Washington. All I did was stay at home and wait for my husband to get home. One day when I was doing the dishes, I saw my neighbor walking by and she noticed me too. She stopped and chatted with me. She was telling me that she was going to the Paperback Exchange and if I would like to go with her. I didn’t have anything else to do and jumped on the opportunity, The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough was the book I bought. Late one night when Joe was out working. He was driving the Colonel to the airport. I was sitting in the dark of our living room looking out the curtain waiting for him to return; because there wasn’t anything else I could do we had no television or radio. When he came home, he saw how sad that I was because I wasn’t use to being by myself. I’ve always had my siblings with me. The next day we bought our first television and rented furniture.

 

 

 

 

Grandma Officer Memory Field Work (Draft)

Andrea Allen
4/28/15
Memory Assignment (Draft)

My great grandfather Percy Vere Broughton was born in June of 1890 and he was one of the many sons of his father John Broughton who was born in England. Percy was very young when he and his father traveled by ship to America. Percy grew up in Kansas and after he married his wife Emilie Watts Broughton (Heaton) and they had a few children, Percy left the farming fields of Kansas and followed a friend across the plains northwest to Washington State, where he and his family settled into the country side near Kelso. Percy began working alongside his friend at the local saw mill for quite some time before he was offered a new and dangerous position within the company, a position in which another worker had recently been killed. Having five children and a wife depending on him, he turned down the job and quit the mill. Even though my grandmother was not born yet, she remembers him very distinctly saying “No I don’t believe a man with 5 children has any business doing that type of job.”
My Grandmother Vivian Louise Broughton was born on June 19, 1928, a year before the Great Depression. She was born in a large, one room shack, on a small farm outside of town. when she was a young girl the one room shack became the family chicken coup and a new, larger home was built nearby. “The new house seemed quite large to me at that time, even though large back then was nothing compared to the houses now a days.” She told me with a small chuckle, as she sat across from me, her hands gently folded in her lap, her greenish-gray eyes sparkling beneath her lightly rimmed glasses. She paused and glanced upwards, obviously trying to remember the old shack but not being able recall any details. Shrugging, she continued on. “the new house had four bedrooms two upstairs and two bedrooms downstairs, a wood “heating” stove that was located in the dining room and a wood cooking stove that was located in the kitchen.” Her voice raised slightly as she continued her story. “The new house did not have running water and I had to gather it from a well, which was located outside the house quite a ways by using a bucket.” She laughs while make a flicking motion with her wrist when she explains to me how tricky it was and how it took a certain flick of the wrist to acquire a full bucket of water. The house also did not have electricity until later.
Her father was a farmer in Kansas on a very large farm, before moving to Washington. After arriving he acquired 15 acres and settled down. Her father did not have a job due to the Depression, so they grew lots of strawberries and my grandmother remembers planting and selling these to the Washington Co-Op Cannery when she was a young girl. “Strawberries and filbert trees,” she said with enthusiasm in her voice. “There were 2 types, one type which was shaped more like an almond but it was a filbert and you need both for cross pollination you see.” She explained to me. “I also had a Jersey Cow and a yellow kitten named Patsy she was given to me by my sister, she was such a little sweetheart and I remember when I was a little girl around the age of 6 and how one Christmas my sister’s bought me a doll buggy and a Shirley Temple doll and Instead of playing with my doll, I remember taking my kitten Patsy, putting her in the doll buggy, and riding her into the pasture down and all around.” Making a swirling pattern in the air with her fragile, age spotted hands that also had a slight bluish and peach tint to them, she continued speaking about other adventure with Patsy.
When my grandmother was in 1st grade she became friends with Gloria, Wauneta, Shirley, Bobby, and Preston, then in the 3rd grade she met Wanda, and they all became close friends and stayed that way till 8th grade. When asked about her experience in grade school she laughed and said with an abrasive yet excited tone “honey it was a two room country school with 4 grades in each room! One mile from the house, I walked every day to and from it.” Before 8th grade she worked for Bushman’s Farm picking strawberry, young-berry and raspberries. She saved every cent in order to purchase the bike of her dreams. When she had finally saved enough, her mother and father took her all over town to find the perfect one. “I Looked at Montgomery Ward, then went to the Sears in Portland, then returned back to Montgomery Ward and ended up getting the one there.” She said before she paused and pondered for a minute. “I was 2 dollars short when I went to pay the $29.00 for my bike, so my father covered the remaining balance.” Smiling then elevating her tone a little her eyes widened, “The bike was a top of the line bicycle, it had a basket, it had a place over the back wheel to tie luggage for your school books and so forth and as soon as I got it home I started riding it to school every day. “When it was time to go to high school, she no longer rode her prize possession, but instead she caught a Gray Hound bus by flagging it down on the side of the highway.
The clothing back then was nothing like it is today, she was happy to have clothes to wear, she wore dresses, skirts, sweaters, anklets (socks) and every once in a while she would wear a neck-less. She remembers riding a Gray Hound bus which she took to high school each day and seeing a lady named Yvonne Percy who was a little older than her wearing a nice pair of earrings. “she was a very pretty lady and the earrings looked very nice on her, but I never wanted my ears pierced so I never got them but I do remember Shirley’s mom, who lived just down the way from us, I remember her ears drooping downwards because she wore such heavy earrings.” letting out a high school girl giggle her face lit up and she scooted to the front of her chair. “Oh and those saddle-backs! See we didn’t have these Nike shoes back then, they were BEAUTIFUL! You could get a pair of nice brown or black ones.” Then as soon as her excitement faded a solemn look crossed her face and she stared down at her hands. “Well you know, during the war things were rationed, and shoes were rationed and you could only use ration stamps to buy them. The saddle-backs which were made mostly of leather became rationed because leather was used in the military and they needed to reserve it. You were only able to buy 1 or 2 pairs of shoes a year because of the rationing so instead of buying the saddle-back shoes my family started buying me wooden shoes.”
On December 7, 1941 my grandmother was sitting on her back porch with her sister Ruby looking out across the pasture, when a man who came from Portland to purchase chicken eggs told them that Pearl Harbor had been hit. “See no one in my family went over sees during the war, but my sister Ruby’s husband Clive, his brother’s Cal, Bob and his cousin Tom all went down and enlisted together on the stipulation they would all be kept together, they were Army Engineers and they were all stationed overseas on a Mediterranean island when his brother Cal came down with Typhoid fever. However, around the same time the ship with five brothers went down and the Army made new regulations denying family to be stationed together so just like that, the brother’s and cousin were split up.”
Grandma met my grandfather Earnest James Officer when she a junior at Vancouver high school. “We had locker monitors, I would sit in the hall and different ones that would want to come to the lockers during that time, would have to bring a signed slip. Your grandfather was home on leave and he was visiting the school and his old comraderies ya know, being a typical male he said “do you know what time it is?” I said NO why you don’t look at your watch! and your Grandpa Officer just grinned.” she laughs and continues ” All the time he was home on leave he would come back and visit with me while I was being a hall monitor and he wanted to take me out, but I would tell him no I live way out in the country and there is gas rations on. They she made a pause and said “so any ways we didn’t go out.” I couldn’t help but laugh, obviously they had gone out again or my mother or I wouldn’t be here. “Well hold on so he went back in spring back to the base. I was working that summer at Montgomery ward then about 2 weeks after school starts I am going out the door, when he was coming up the stairs and we just about ran into one another and knocked each other down! She pauses and laughs, excitement dancing in her eyes and in her tone. “We went together for a week and got engaged!”
Grandpa went to Idaho to see his brother Chuck who was also in the Army Air Core, they both came back and grandpa introduced him to Grandma. Grandpa went back to base after his leave was up after “Victory over Japan” in August. He was given orders to be stationed in Japan after arriving. “I’m in school, it was October, I’m in speech class and he comes walking in the door to my class.” Her eyes raised and her voice elevated. “I thought he was headed to Japan! He had been discharged and no longer was in the Army Air-Core. So we went together the rest of my senior year.” Changing her tone “Graduated Friday night and started the telephone company on Monday. Then we were married August 23 1946 I had just turned 18.”

Journal Entry #6

Journal Entry #6

April 29, 2015

Last night, while cooling off after a late evening Muay Thai class, thoroughly exhausted both physically and mentally yet with too much adrenaline left in my system to sleep, I found myself perusing through videos of the Baltimore riots. Although I had read newspaper articles on the subject earlier that morning, seeing the raw chaos and violence unfold from the perspective of the people who witnessed it took on a quality altogether different than reading intellectualized accounts.

The first video I found was filmed from the perspective of a group of white people taking shelter inside a bar. At first a few of them were standing outside, possibly because they didn’t anticipate what was to come or they wanted to catch the event on video. The rioters began hurling open bins full of garbage at them, and two of which hit women in the group near the person filming. The assailants may have targeted the women intentionally, either anticipating that they would react more slowly to the projectiles or to deliberately antagonize the men they were with. One of the larger thugs came over to the group near the person filming and punched a bystander in the face several times before running back to the group of rioters. Those that chose to fight back got caught up in a huge brawl and from the video it is unclear what happened to them.

After a draining bout of kickboxing, my first reaction in as I took this all in wasn’t anger. I found myself imagining what it would be like to be thrust into a situation like that. I started to envision what the best strategies would be to remain safe, and which self-defense measures would be most effective. Reacting to the violence with more violence would most likely not have a good outcome, but it would be hard to stand idly by and watch as others were hurt without stepping in to defend them. The violence simply rolled through the streets like a surging wave, welling up suddenly like a flash flood that threatened to overtake anyone in its path. To reverse the course of the riot or assert control over it seemed like more than any one person could have accomplished. Another video showed a huge black man with his arms outstretched, forming a barrier between the police and protesters to discourage violence. This struck me as incredibly brave. Finally, I watched as a news reporter interviewed one rioter as others slashed a fire hose to disrupt firefighter’s efforts to control a fire inside a CVS that was set by arsonists after looting it.

I went to sleep disturbed by what I had seen, so over breakfast I sent Sweeney, my girlfriend, a link to a NY Times article reporting on the the effects and aftermath of the event in order to discuss it with her and hear her opinion. It was my favorite of the articles I had read on the issue. The article includes an interview with an African American social reformer in Baltimore, who watched dumbfounded as a multimillion dollar housing project for senior citizens he had worked on for years was burned to the ground. The article also describes the difficulties that government officials have had in getting any corporations to invest in the troubled neighborhoods prior to the riots, with specific reference to the CVS that was destroyed.

Sweeney responded that the article doesn’t explore the perspective of the rioters, so I sent her the video of the fire hose slashing which includes a man hiding his face as he rants to the reporter; quite possibly to distract the news camera as the other rioters converged on the hose.

As disturbed as I was by the videos, that feeling was compounded by the film The Sorrow and the Pity, which we finished in class today. I couldn’t shake the feeling that the story was not enriched in any way by including the interviews of men who had been high up in the Nazi military during WWII. Neither of them were apologetic about their role in the war, and I have trouble buying into any rationalization they may employ as for what motivated their involvement or their knowledge of the full scope of the evil of the Nazi party. I was also put off by the way they chose to end the film., It went into a detailed portrayal of the injustices committed after the war and the innocent people that were condemned by the French after they were liberated from Nazi control. Although the scale and scope of the injustice that went on after the war differed drastically from what went on during the occupation, the film spends a good deal of time delving into it and ends on that note, as if to insinuate that everyone was guilty of some form of inhumanity not just the Nazis. The documentary went so far as to include at the end a former Nazi recounting his woeful tale of being spit on after the war ended.

The ending of The Sorrow and The Pity reminds me in a way of the Mel Gibson movie Apocalypto. The whole movie is about the persecution of one small tribe by the Mayan Empire. The movie ends with the tribes spotting Spanish ships on the horizon for the first time, and is suggestive enough that the viewer may question “Well, if that’s how the tribes treated each other before the Spanish arrived, and then was the process of colonization really that bad? Maybe that’s just the way their history is.” This is along the same lines of people saying “the Africans were enslaving each other before Europeans even got there.” To me, the documentary is making a deliberate statement by focusing so much on the way that political prisoners were treated post liberation at the hands of their own people instead of the Nazis. It is as if to say “it’s not just the Nazis who were criminals. Atrocities were committed on all sides and no one is completely innocent. You can’t judge the Nazis for what they did”

Both the documentary we watched in class and the news reports from the riots in Baltimore made me question, what exactly is the value of a narrative? When telling a story, are some narratives and perspectives more valuable than others? When crimes and atrocities are committed that have implications greater than the individual perpetrators, is the best way to get a balanced view of both sides really to include their narrative? Although rioters in Baltimore may have committed petty crimes, or in some cases felonies and more serious crimes, to me this doesn’t put them on the same level as the atrocities, genocide, and crimes against humanity of the Nazis, however parallels do exist in the way that their story is told and the sense that the individuals committing the crimes stand for something larger than themselves.

There are many arguments that can explain the side of the rioters and make their cause relatable. The social reformer who was quoted in the NY Times makes the case that the acts were a senseless reaction resulting from underserved and underprivileged youth who, filled with anger, didn’t realize the repercussions of their actions. Statistics can also reveal that the areas affected the most are home to a populace that is generally not well educated. Hearing the explanations in that article, it isn’t hard to relate to the justifiable anger of the youth there. As a teenager I could imagine myself protesting or rioting with no thought of consequences, and I didn’t have half the problems that the youth in those communities are faced with. When the argument is correctly framed, the action of those rioters is compelling in a sense. It has actually caused me to put more thought into the specific ways in which members of those communities are disenfranchised, and issues of racial inequality, than I otherwise would have. The problem is that by interviewing the rioters themselves, you get none of those kinds of answers. Just a spout of reactionary hatefulness from the mouths of those who are too ignorant to realize that their actions are hurting themselves and their community just as they are damaging the livelihood of the targets of their random aggression. We know what their motivations are. We don’t need to hear it directly from the perpetrators of the crimes. Their opinion is not likely to build a productive dialogue or have any real value. It is better to understand their perspective in other ways. Similarly, I think it is more productive to learn the intricacies of what really made the Nazi’s tick by taking a sociological or psychological approach. For example studying the impact on the Nazis of the propaganda they were exposed to, or to gain an understanding of the underlying social or historical forces that were at work. I fail to see what can be gained by focusing on the smug reminiscing and contrived excuses or people who took part in atrocities under the banner of a genocidal regime. The narrative of a crime’s perpetrator isn’t necessarily the best way to put their actions into context.

Grandma

Transcription of Vivian Louise Officer (Broughton) 1928

Grandpa and Grandma Broughton (My great great grand parents)

John Broughton-1st Generation was born in England

John was married to a lady in England, they had 3 sons, He and his 3 sons (almost grown),  Traveled by ship over to the states, The father was separated from his sons when they arrived and for some reason they never found one another and they all went their own ways.

Charlotte Broughton- John married Charlotte after coming to the states

FATHER -Percy Vere Broughton- Born June 1890, (Middle Child) Clarence (Oldest) Naomi (Youngest)

MOTHER-Emilie Watts Broughton (Heaton), Married Dec 18, 1912

Moved from Kansas to Washington in the Kelso/Longview area,

After moving to Washington, her father’s friend who had also moved from Kansas to the Kelso/Longview area worked for a lumber mill and was able to get her father a job, Her father was working there for quite sometime when he was asked to take a new and dangerous assignment, which another worker had recently been killed doing. Having five children and a wife depending on him, he turned down the job and quit the mill. My grandmother remembers very vividly that he had told her  ” No I don’t believe a man with 5 children has any business doing that job.”  This is before she was born.Vivian was born in 1928 a year before the Great Depression had started, in a large one room shack in the Kelso/ Longview area on a small farm outside of town, After a new larger house was built, the one room shack became the chicken coup. She does not remember the shack but she does remember the new home being built. She explains with a small chuckle that the new house seemed quite large at that time, even though large back then was nothing compared to the houses now a days. She describes the house as having two bedrooms upstairs and two bedrooms downstairs, a wood “heating” stove to keep the home warm that was located in the dining room and a wood cooking stove that was located in the kitchen. The house did not have running water so in order to supply water, their family would pull water by the bucket from a well and carry it into the house. The well was located outside the house quite a ways, she laughs when explaining how tricky it was to get a full bucket of water. She makes a flicking motion with her wrist when describing how it took a certain flick of the wrist to acquire a full bucket of water. The house also did not have electricity. Until later, after her dad dug the post holes for the electric poles. Dad was a farmer in Kansas on a very large farm, then after moving to Washington her father bought and settled on 15 acres. Her father did not have a job due to the Depression so they grew lots of strawberries and Vivian remembers planting and selling these to the Washington Co-Op Cannery when she was a young girl.  After she was born she remembers her mother and father planting lots of strawberries, filbert trees, she said their was 2 types she remembered one type which was shaped more like an almond but it was a filbert and she explained how you need both for cross pollination. She had a Jersey Cow and a yellow “sweetheart” kitten named Patsy when she was 6. One Christmas her sister’s had bought her a doll buggy and a Shirley Temple doll. Instead of playing with her doll she remember’s taking her kitten Patsy, putting her in the doll buggy and riding her into the pasture and down and all around. She also remembers throwing darts with the neighbor boy who was biracial part white and part Philippine. When asked about grade school she laughed and said “honey it was a two room country school 4 grades in each room!” one mile from the house, she walked everyday to and from it. When asked about the discipline in her home, she said their was very little, it was just understood and expected to behave. She remember there was absolutely no alcohol or smoking aloud around or on the premises. When asked about the relationship with her siblings she laughed and said she was spoiled, she was the baby the next sibling up was 8 years older. When Vivian was in grade school she became friends with Gloria, Wanita, Shirly, Bobby, Preston all started the 1st grade together, in the 3rd grade they met Wanda, when she graduated the 8th grade their was 5 boys and 5 girls she had all become good friends with, After each person was grown and married they started meeting for annual picnics in which all students from Baker Grade School were invited. All of the girls in this group are in their upper 80’s and still alive and are still close friends, meeting annually for the picnic or reunions. Before 8th grade she had been working hard in the different strawberry, young-berry and raspberry fields picking fruit for Bushman’s Farm, She saved every cent in order to buy her dream bike. When she had enough saved her mother and father took her all over to find the perfect one. Looked at Montgomery Ward, then went to Portland to Sears, ending up returning to Montgomery Ward and getting one there. She was 2 dollars short when she went to pay the 29.00 for the bike. so her father covered the remaining balance. She described the bike as “top of the line bicycle” it had a basket, it had a place over the back wheel to tie luggage. When she entered high school   Everyone was white that attended her grade school, it wasn’t until after WWII started and she started going to Ridgemont and Vancouver High School her Junior and Senior year that she was introduced to multicultural people other then the one neighbor boy. She remember’s one black girl who was very nice named Valerie when she was in high school.The popular and appropriate type of clothing she wore growing up were dresses, skirts, sweaters and anklets (socks) and every once in a while she would wear a neck-less. She remember’s riding a Gray Hound bus which she took to high school each day and seeing a lady named Yvonne Percy a little older than her and how she had a nice pair of earrings. She also remembers Shirley’s mom’s ears looping downwards because she wore heavy earrings. When she describes her saddle-backs and how they didn’t have Nike shoes back then with a small giggle. She said they were oxfords then her face lit up and she exclaimed how beautiful they were. You could get a pair of nice brown or black ones. During the war things were rationed, shoes were rationed and you could only use ration stamps to buy them. The oxfords which were made mostly of leather became rationed because leather was used in the military and they needed to reserve it. You were only able to buy 1 or 2 pairs of shoes a year because of the rationing so instead of buying the saddle-back shoes, her family would buy her wooden shoes which were made in Holland, She had a pair of these wooden shoes when she was a senior but when she started working for the telephone company they did not allow wooden shoes and they were a safety hazard. On December 7, 1941 my grandmother was sitting on her back porch with her sister Ruby looking out across the pasture, when a man who came from Portland to purchase chicken eggs told them that Pearl Harbor had been hit that morning. Ruby’s husband Clive, his brother’s Cal, Bob and his cousin Tom all enlisted together on the stipulation they would all be kept together, they were Army Engineers and they were all stationed oversees on a Mediterranean island when his brother Cal came down with Typhoid fever. Around the same time the ship with five brother’s went down and the Army made new regulations denying family to be stationed together.

Her triggers for memories are rooted in family, family specifics like ages, birthdays, anniversaries all seem to be rooted in her memory the deepest.

Grandma Officer had 6 siblings- Glenn Albert Broughton (oldest)-DOB: Oct 13 1913, Merrial Evon Broughton-DOB: March 19, 1915, Grace Broughton-DOB: NOV 17, 1916, Mary Elizabeth Broughton DOB: July 13, 1918, Ruby Eleanor Broughter-DOB Feb 12, 1920.

 

Journal Entry #5: Deep Memory

On the surface, it would appear that Isabella and I are as different from one another as can be. Although some people may convince themselves that they won’t have anything in common with those that are “too different” from themselves, both Isabella and I embrace these differences, which, it turns out, is one of the many things we have in common. Apart from just the generational gap, we are also from totally different races, backgrounds, and cultures. She is African American, of Caribbean descent, and identifies strongly with her roots in Trinidad. So how do two people from completely different walks of life develop such a strong bond? Most simply it’s that none of those things matter, which is glaringly obvious to nonconformists like us who habitually defy societies’ expectations. Our friendship was formed on the basis of complimentary communication styles, shared values and beliefs, and mutual interests just like any other, even though we might appear to be an unlikely pair. All of these commonalities form a solid foundation for a friendship, but in order to comprehend why I find Isabella’s story so intriguing and what draws me to her is a journey of introspection into the deepest of my own recollections.

When we first met, we were united by the shared experience of focusing on Isabella’s recovery from a devastating car accident. Dedicating myself to assisting her however possible helped me to take pride in my work, and after nearly a year of working together two to three hours a day for three days a week I began to affectionately think of her as an older sister. In order to fully understand what motivated me to want to dedicate myself so wholeheartedly to her recovery, and what mysterious forces of the inner workings of my mind contributed; I have had to take an unflinching look at some of my deepest memories and realized some associations that are not easily acknowledged.

At its essence, Isabella’s story is one of determined resilience. As a middle class white male, some might assume my life to be the epitome of privilege and luxury. Unfortunately, as comfortable as my life may be I am no stranger to loss and suffering. As a child, I suffered from Tourette’s syndrome, which affected my schoolwork and strained my social life. I was one of the lucky few that grow out of it with age, and I can’t imagine what my life would be like now if it wasn’t for that. At age nine my parent’s got a divorce; a process that involved constant fighting, the filing of restraining orders, selling the house I grew up in, and moving into a small apartment in a new neighborhood. A few years before the move, my family had adopted a kitten off the street that I had taken a special interest in. I used to talk to him sometimes just to vent, especially when I was grounded and he was keeping me company. Suddenly, shortly after my parent’s told me about the divorce, my cat died prematurely.

For what seemed like a long time my mother and I had to move in with my grandparents until she could find a new place. By Middle School I was on my own in a new town trying to make new friends. Summer camp was a haven for me, and I used the healing that it afforded me to bounce back as much as possible. I took a chance and ran for class president in 7th grade, and gave an unconventional speech that took me from completely unknown to student body president. Then, in 8th grade, came September 11th. The whole nation was in mourning. Later that same year my father passed away. 2 years later my maternal grandmother also passed away. I did my best to cope with these tragedies, and focused a lot of energy on my schoolwork. I maintained High Honor Roll throughout all of Middle School and continuing into High School. I can recall vividly the influence of my 9th grade Health Class teacher. Maybe it was because I was one of the few students who applied myself to the class and took the subject seriously, or she might have sensed my penchant for public speaking, whatever the reason, she singled me out and asked if I would be part of her HIV/AIDS Awareness club. I didn’t feel any particular connection to that issue, and so she recommended a book to me on the subject. It was the true biographical story of a boy the same age as I was at the time that was a hemophiliac and contracted HIV due to a contaminated blood transfusion. It was a long book of around 500 pages that detailed many events of the boy’s short life, his struggle with illness, the activism/awareness he initiated to change the public perception of the disease, and his private thoughts and feelings about being terminally ill.

The book deeply affected me, and I invested myself fully in the cause of the club. Although it was unusual to head a club before senior year, I became president of the club both junior and senior year. By the time I graduated I had acquired enough experience in teaching the peer education program that I could also oversee the training of new club members. Despite all of the setbacks I did well on the SATs, kept my grades up, and was accepted to my first choice of colleges. I decided to defer enrollment and took a gap year after high school. During that time I spent 5 months in Africa, 3 of which were spent doing volunteer work. I was able to use my experience from the Aids Awareness club to start similar peer education initiatives in several locations hard hit by the AIDS epidemic. Simply having the education to realize that there is no danger in associating with those affected, and by appearing with them in public, sent a positive message and hopefully made a difference. It was as if the positive change was amplified from my initial decision to take up the cause into a broader and broader scope. Focusing on a worthy cause also put my own struggles into perspective for me, and gave me a sense of purpose. It all started with that one teacher, Mrs. Dowler, and the book that she lent me. I learned the value of using biography as inspiration and the value of doing work to benefit others. I can relate to Isabella’s experience because even though we have very different backgrounds and struggles I know what it means to be a survivor and to have to persevere through sheer toughness and resiliency. I want to record her story, as a testament to the determination of the human spirit.

 

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