In Search of Lost Time

The Evergreen State College

Category: Fieldwork (Page 2 of 3)

Draft: Memory Project

Tasia Siereveld
5-5-15
In Search of Lost time

Wing Luke: The Heart of Seattle’s Asian Pacific American Community
My First Visit to Wing Luke
I’m strolling along in Seattle, but walking beneath the iron and glass pergola hugging the corner of Pioneer Square Park, I can almost imagine that I am strolling through a European metropolis on the cusp of the 20th century. This is something I love about this city; its many faces have a way of transporting you to a different time, and sometimes, a different place. The Beaux Arts of Union Station captures the obsession the West had with Parisian architecture around the turn of the 19th century, the Space Needle takes you back to the post WWII era which marks the love affair so many architects had with everything outer-space, and the Central Waterfront looks out onto Elliott Bay and provides you with all the joys of boardwalk culture. All of these stylistic expressions of Seattle have a special place in my heart, but the district of seattle which I formed a unique affection for is the International District, which greets me as I step out of Pioneer square. It is difficult for me to clearly explain why I feel such a profound connection to the International District, which prior to the 1970s was still referred to as Chinatown. In truth, I think it is due to a whole host of reasons, some obvious and some hidden even from me. I first visited the area 7th grade with an after-school club for Japanese culture enthusiasts. Initially I joined because of my admiration for the teacher who started the club, but I quickly grew very interested in the subject matter. As the grand conclusion to the group’s time together we took a journey to Seattle’s International District(IND). Our first stop, the place I will always see as the heart of the district, was the Wing Luke Museum.
The Wing Luke Museum is dedicated to preserving the history and culture of Seattle’s Asian Pacific American community. The International District is one of the only communities of it’s kind on the US mainland, a remarkable collection of cultures are woven into it’s history, including not only Japanese and Chinese, but Filipino, Korean, Vietnamese, Cambodian, Thai, and Indian. Because of the area’s complex population, there are many complex matters the museum, which is a community based organization, would have to consider as they design their exhibits. There are also questions I must consider if I am to better understand where I feel I fit into this community which I admire so much. In this paper I will be exploring the museum and what it has to offer, not only in the way of knowledge but in the vein of wisdom. In the end, I hope to emerge with not only a better understanding of the museum and the IND community, but of myself.

My first visit to the Wing Luke Museum for the purpose of this project took place on a Friday, and having spent the whole week preparing, I was eager to begin my intellectual journey.Walking up King St. on my way to the museum i could smell the roast duck that was hanging in the window of the Fortuna Cafe, as well as the heady aroma of dried spices wafting out of a small chinese grocery. Upon entering the museum the heavy wooden doors which formed the entrance caused a rush of air to be dragged into the building as they swung open, sending the massive colorful wind chime overhead into a frenzy. I inhaled deeply, as I usually do when stepping into when stepping into what I call “a learning place.” I do the same thing when I step into a library or a theater hall. There is something intoxicating about the smell of books and the silent energy of minds at work. I walked directly up to the front desk.
“Hi, I would like to purchase a year membership.” The young woman sitting behind the desk smiled at me.
“Sure,” she said “just sign this paperwork here please.” She handed me a clip board with a single form on it. I thanked her and went on to explain my mission there at the museum. The young women looked genuinely pleased. “Well we certainly appreciate your interest.” she said. She told me that she could get me in touch with the director of educational outreach, and that they would make sure I got access to all the resources I would need. She then handed me a small map of the museum and gave me some information on the exhibits and upcoming oral history tour. I noted how warm my welcome was, as opposed to the rather stuffy receptions I have received at some other museums. I glanced at the pamphlet for new members, “It’s Your Museum!” it read.
I decided to spend the few minute I had before the begin of the oral history tour in one of my favorite exhibits. To reach the exhibit one must climb a set of stairs which on a sunny day seem to ascend into the brightness of the sky. The stairs look to be made of old recycled dock wood, and I can easily imagine them leading out to the puget sound. At the end of the staircase there is a landing bathed in the sunlight shining through the panel of glass which forms the ceiling. The installation is titled “The Letter Cloud”, and was designed by Susie Kozawa and Erin Shie Palmer. The walls of the hall also look to have been pulled from an old seaside shanty, covered in tar and ornamented with frosted windows glowing with candle light. The azure sky shining through the skylight is meant to represent the blue of the ocean. Hundreds of paper letters are suspended overhead by fishing line, and dance in the wake of an artificial breeze. From the end of the hall comes the sound of a gentle voice, but the words are lost in the sound of the waves until you reach the bench at the back of the hall. The voice was that of a woman reading an old letter from a young man to his love across the sea. Other readings from other immigrants followed, often read by their children or grand children. The matters of which they wrote were so relatable and timeless that i couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of solidarity with them and their struggles and their successes.The letters were read in their original tongue as well as in english, increasing their accessibility. “A cloud of paper floats these letters across time and space…” reads a portion of the description on the wall.
The oral history tour started on the ground floor of the museum in front of the biographical exhibit for the museum’s namesake, Wing Chong Luke. Only two other people were waiting for the tour, so the group was small. Our guide, Don, was incredibly personable; he asked where we were all from, and chatted about his family and where he was from. His casual conversational style lent itself perfectly to the tour, and at times I could hardly distinguish what was planned in his presentation, and what came organically. For instance, Don revealed parents were actually from the same province of China as Wing Luke. He told us of the first time he visited their old home and his surprise at finding the people of China to be extremely warm and welcoming towards him. “There was a time when American born Chinese people were not well received there.” he informed us. Traveling for Don had been a great learning experience, and he encouraged all of us to travel to China some day. “Travel transcends racial lines.” he said.
As Don covered the life of Wing Luke, the part of his story which seemed the most significant took place in his childhood. In primary school he was the only non-caucasian child, and was picked on terribly. Wing, we were told, was also an incredible artist. Don asked us “So, if you could draw really well, and all of these kids were picking on you, how would you draw them?” I looked kind of bashful and hesitated. “I guess I would make them look pretty stupid.” I said. Don nodded, “Well Wing didn’t do that, he wanted these kids to like him, and so he drew them all as superheroes!” As it turns out, this worked, Wing became one of the most well liked boys in his entire class. A class photo with Wing standing at the center, with all the student’s smiling added a pleasant visual ending to the story.
The tour moved to the front of the museum where we learned about the history of how the International District was built and then outside where we could look at the city directly. The tour then moved to the East Kong Yick Building which was donated to the museum after it closed. The store, which was rebuilt as a part of the museum is still filled with all the original jars of dried goods and account books. Don reveals that he used to come to the shop in it’s original location as a child. He would buy dried plums as a treat and help his brother carry the 100 lb bag of rice his mother would purchase there every month. More and more I was realizing that Don was himself a part of the story he was laying out for us.
From the Yick building we moved on to the Freeman Hotel, which was one of the first resting places of many immigrants coming to Seattle from Asia. The hotel rooms were small and sparsely furnished, it was hard to imagine that these rooms were used as permanent living quarters for grown men. The hotel also contained meeting rooms for Family Associations. Family Associations were essentially clubs comprised of people who came from the same provinces in China, and wanted to recapture the sense of the community they had when living in their old villages. The first of such banquet style meeting rooms we entered belonged to the Gee How Oak Tin Family Association, the largest in the nation. Such associations are a testament to how important maintaining a sense of community was and still is in the early days of the international district. It also demonstrates the creative ways in which immigrant populations go about maintaining a sense of cultural identity and how they valued the roots of their past. After learning about the history and structure of family associations we moved into the adjoining room which stood for yet another family association and displayed a collection of antique mahjong tiles, a traditional chinese game similar to dominoes.
Don lead us all to the window and pointed to the other side of King street. “Do you see that building over there?” he asked. Another type of association in the area was known as a tong, which was originally a secret business organization generally of ill repute. They were known to be involved in gambling, smuggling, and even prostitution once upon a time, but have since become merely places for older chinese people to gather socially. Don’s father was actually a member of the Bing Tong Association, which we could see from the window, and often kept that part of his life separate from the rest of his life. Yet Don does remember his father showing him card tricks, and demonstrating how easy it would be for him to swindle any rube who tried their luck at gambling with the tong.
The tour ended where I began, at the “Letter Cloud.” Don left us with the message that the story the museum tells is a part of us all, it’s a story of immigration, of struggle, and of seeking the American dream.Those who visit the museum aren’t only supporting it financially, but we are participating in keeping certain memories alive, and we are spreading that knowledge and insight to the rest of the community when we leave. “It’s Your Museum!” say the flyers sitting outside the museum entrance.
Analysis of My Visit: What I Learned
From the first moment I walked into the museum, I was made to feel welcome. The young girl at the front desk was accommodating and kind. She also displayed genuine excitement that I had designed a project around the museum and used the royal “we” when she expressed that excitement, showing that it was the whole museum and it’s staff who were pleased with my presence. This shows how important each member visitor is to the museum, and how they create a sense of belonging from the moment you arrive. This was emphasised by the statement on the front of the pamphlet: “It’s Your Museum!”
The young woman at the front desk also informed me about the museum’s library and got me in touch with the director of educational outreach, which shows how important they feel the education of the community is, and how willing they are to go the extra mile to help someone learn.
While on the tour with Don, I rediscovered that feeling I had at 13 when I visited, the feeling of connectedness, the notion that I was a part of the community I had come to learn about.Throughout our time together he kept us engaged by asking us questions rather than just giving us answers, this allowed us to recognize when we were learning something new, as well as occasionally add a bit of our own knowledge to the tour. In this way we were a community of learners rather than passive recipients of information. It kept us engaged and made the subject feel relevant. It also allowed us to question what we already knew, and recognize when we were learning something new.
The story about Wing Luk using kindness to make friends with the students who were teasing him really the museum’s message that community and understanding is important, and that it can be achieved through compassion and education.
I also felt that it was a powerful teaching tool, to have the group look directly at the city while we learned about it. It makes one feel like you are a part of the community you are learning about. It also reminds you that the museum isn’t the only resource for learning about this vibrant portion of seattle, we can actually venture into the city ourselves and seek out answers independently. The wing Luke Museum web site and staff actually encourage you to do just that.
Don’s background was also an important factor in his aptitude as a guide, because as it turned out, he had a personal connection to the museum’s subject matter Don’s family actually hails from the same province of China as Wing Luke, and are amongst the many families to have immigrated to the area. His memories of the area as a child brought the subject matter quite literally to life as it was embodied by him. For instance his description of his visits to the Yick store as a child with his mother and brother. Hearing about this history from someone who actually went to the store as a child, and who has a place in the history we were talking about made it a very personal experience. Listening to an oral history from someone who could provide a personal perspective to enhance the information we were receiving made me realize how relevant this topic still is to the seattle community today. Being able to walk through that shop, suspended in time, transported us back to the past and allowed us to adopt a different perspective far more easily than by looking at pictures in a book. Learning about the area’s history and culture from a person with roots in it inspired in me, as I am sure it does in others, a sense of solidarity, and connection. People help us connect because compassion is a gateway to enlightenment.
At the end of the tour, Don’s point that the museum presents a story that is related to all of us, because most all of us are descendants of immigrants spoke to a larger message, that despite our differences, we are all in this together. Even today, just like the early immigrants of the 1900s, we are all struggling to achieve our goals, and find our place in society while maintaining our own identity.
The most prominent theme I discovered was that of community and communal learning. The Wing Luke museum understands the importance of people in the learning and preservation process, which is why they make sure that the community of Seattle’s International District plays a key role in the museums design. In 1995 the museum won the National Award for Museum Services for their “cutting edge work in fostering broad-based participation in the development of exhibitions and programs.” The museum’s goal is to get the Pacific Asian American communities and the public at large to become engaged with learning about the cultures and histories tied to the IND and to participate in the growth of the museum. One way they do this is by using the Community-based Exhibition Model. Community members are involved in the process of making exhibits every step of the way, from brainstorming ideas to installing exhibits, to outreach and publicity. The team of people that puts together an exhibit always includes not only staff members, but “core community members,” which make up the Community Advisory Committee(CAC). The members of this group all have some personal connection to the subject matter of the exhibit to be created. They are the ones with authority over the the content of the exhibit, and what it’s main messages are. The CAC is also charged with branching out further into the community, inviting others to contribute their talents or stories to the formation of the exhibit. On occasion, a leader is necessary for the group to run smoothly. Such a person is chosen based upon their strong role within the community rather than a history in museum work. They will facilitate group meetings, help the museum connect further with the community, and generally sharing their wisdom.
As I learned about the process the museum goes through to design their exhibits, and how much they value the community in the process, I began to further value where I fit into the equation. As a patron of the museum I support it not only financially, but I come as a vessel for the knowledge and the wisdom its stories would bestow upon me. I matter in this community for the simple and powerful fact that I care. Because I care so deeply about this community and their stories, I carry them with me, and thus bring parts of the museum with me wherever I go. I am not the only one of course, many others share my role, but our role is also an important part of the process because our passion for the museum spreads awareness to others, who in turn become interested in visiting the museum. In this way, stories and community keep history alive.
I believe that Wing Luke is truly is a community museum, in that it preserves the history of a community, promotes communal memory, and creates it’s own community within and without its walls.

My Second Visit to Wing Luke
On my second visit to the Wing Luke Asian museum, I decided to explore some of the exhibits on my own. I wanted to wander where my fancy took me and try to gain some insight into what some of the museums main themes were.
After checking in at the front desk I made my way upstairs to the Central Gallery on the second floor where I passed briefly under the “Letter Cloud.” The Central Gallery was empty of people, leaving me to explore in solitude. I could hear the sound of chimes and trickling water coming from a pair of speakers hanging over a ring of wooden benches with a small boulder at its center. I turned to the first exhibit within my reach, a collection of portraits placed above an artificial fire mantle. The portraits were of dolls, and a caption was placed near them: “We recreate old cultural ways in their homes…” The dolls were a physical reminder of the land their immigrant owners had left behind. The rest of the caption expressed the concerns Asian immigrants had with not belonging as well as the struggle to keep the memory of their origins alive. “Memories of the home-land dissolve with time.” The dolls are meant to preserve that memory.
Near the entrance to the gallery is a display that reads: “Honoring Our Journey: Asian Pacific Islanders.” The display goes on to describe what it means to belong to this group. They are “members of thriving communities,” who share a “common history and common experience in America.” Their goal is to ban together and spend meaningful time trying to identify themselves. Another Display elaborates on the reasons why someone may join the Asian Pacific Islander American(APIA) community and the additional aspects they may have to their identity, such as “multiracial, straight, gay, intermarried, etc.” They come together as a community to have “their history known, their voices heard, and their needs addressed.”
I moved further into the gallery where I found a bench sitting in front of a wall on which images of Asian American culture were being projected. Some of the images I recognized from my book, Seattle’s International District: The Making of a Pan Asian Community. As I looked to my left I found that pristinely stenciled words adorned the smoothed cement wall. There were two sections, the first was titled “Asian American- A New Identity.” The section talks about the importance of the term APIA being a more accurate identifier: “We are both Asian and American.” The paragraph also talks about the way in which the title can be perceived as positive (“strength, community, unity”) or negative (“separation, clannish”). Questions are asked in the paragraph about how children adopted from Asia or those of an interracial marriage identify themselves. No explanation was given to these questions, and thus I believe they were intended to give the viewer food for thought as they explored the museum.
The second part of the mural says “Remember the Past, the Struggles!”It then lists some of the civil rights movements the community had participated in, as well as some of the hurtful things that are frequently said to people of an Asian American background.
I was also struck by a case filled with symbols of different Asian cultural traditions. The case held buddhist statues, wooden carvings which depicted a Korean wedding party and a collection of religious symbols. The exhibit presented the idea that “tradition provides depth and meaning to one’s life”, and that tradition has “deep roots” often based in folk beliefs, and is “kept alive through ritual.”
After exploring the Main portion of the Central Gallery I decided to wander in the direction of the Kid’s Center. Near the entrance to the children’s portion of the gallery there were two little trees covered entirely in colorful paper tags. The tags were New Year wishes which people wrote for their loved ones and hung on the little trees in the hopes that they would come true. This chinese tradition appeared to have been popular with visitors, and I found that rather touching. The children’s center was decorated lavishly with mostly Chinese New Year decorations. A large dragon puppet, the kind seen snaking down the street in New Year parades, hung from one corner of the ceiling, and near it hung a large happy mask meant to resemble the face of a doll. Little red envelopes, which are used to present children with money on on New Year for good luck, are pinned accross the wall. A panel on the wall talked about the significance of the New Year in the context of tradition, and the exchange of such of cultural practices to new generations and new communities. The first portion reads: “Asian immigrants settling in the Pacific Northwest bring with them many holidays from their homelands…Here in America [APIAs] pass along their traditions to their children.” The piece continued by talking about how the APIA community practice their traditions not only at home with family but in the community. The celebration of the New Year is compared to other holidays such as St. Patrick’s day, because though it did not originate in America, it has been adopted by American culture. The piece continues with “While many New Year traditions have changed to accommodate new surroundings in America, their essence still remains.”
After wandering about the children’s center a bit more, I moved into the adjoining hall which contained the Community Portrait Gallery. The gallery contained 5 exhibits at the time: I Am Filipino; Vietnam in the Rearview Mirror; Alaskeros: A Documentary Exhibit on Pioneer Filipino Cannery Workers; Cambodian Cultural Museum and Killing Fields Memorial; Hometown Desi: South Asian Culture in the Pacific Northwest.
I Am Filipino was a very interesting piece which took up an entire room. On one wall of the room there were pictures of dozens of people, all of whom were of Filipino descent. Every individual looked incredibly unique, and every one of them had a different definition of what it is to be Filipino. One quote said, “ It is hard to say what being Filipino is. It can be anything.” Oral history stations were set up around the room so that the visitor could listen to interviews done with various Filipino individuals on the topic of their experience with identity. One woman who was interviewed talked about how she manages to balance her new identity as an American as well as her Filipino identity. she referred to herself as a “weekend Filipino.” The term refers to living a lifestyle that requires her to suppress her filipino identity during the week and while she works, and only participating in the traditions of home during her off days. She talks about how the woman who hired her confessed to her that she wasn’t sure how good of a worker she would be because she had a strong accent.
A young woman named Karen Johnstone reflected in another interview on what it was like for her to be fair skinned and have a dark skinned Filipina mother. She also talked about the struggle her mother had with being dark skinned and having a fair skinned mother. “She definitely made efforts to make connections but she also felt very isolated.” Karen said about her mother. Karen said she learned a lot from her mother about the importance of self esteem when it comes to identity: “She taught me and I have learned through her and through my own experiences as being very fair skinned and also being very immersed in the Filipino Community, that I have to accept myself, and true, there will be those who will question or reject me, but I’m not going to let them take away my identity.”
As I wandered through the rest of the Gallery I found many similar presentations of identity as something complex and fluid. The matter of identity seemed to be of great importance not only to the Filipino population but to many other Immigrants living in America. People belonging to the Vietnamese, Cambodian,and Indian communities all had important things to say about the nature of identity.
At the end of my self tour there was another photo collage that said “South Asian identities are complex, layered, and fluid.” Under each photo was a short description of that person’s identity as they saw it.
I stayed until the museum started to close, and spent the last few minutes sitting on the bench of the Central Gallery. In those last few minutes I saw the first and only other visitors I saw while I was at the museum that day. They were a young couple, the male was caucasian and the female was of Asian descent. I watched them as they explored some of the exhibits and as the young woman explained how one of the traditional Japanese dresses was worn. They giggled and smiled and flirted as they explored. Soon the announcement was made that the museum was closing, and I gathered my things and made for the exit. As I left the museum I felt a strong sense that I was taking with me some of the museums wisdom and insight into some of it’s key values.
Evaluation of Second Visit
The first exhibit I explored, which depicted dolls as a reminder of past traditions, clearly expressed how important the memory of one’s origins is to those who are immigrants or whose family emigrated to the US. Because time is such a great oppositional force against memory, an object, like a doll, can be a valuable tool for keeping the past alive. The exhibit also pointed out the difficulty immigrants from Asia had in developing a sense of belonging.
The text I read on the wall next to the entrance, titled “Honoring Our Journey: Asian Pacific Islanders,” also highlighted the importance of belonging as well as identity. The APIA individuals have worked hard in recent years to seek out those whom they share a common culture and ban together to fight for their voices to be heard and needs to be recognized. The display also made it clear that no one in the APIA community is exactly alike, and that their identities differ greatly, whether they are gay, straight, mixed race, etc.
The large display of text on the wall near the bench I sat on made me think a lot about how it is not only challenging to discover your own identity, but to present that identity as well. The fact that people can perceive identifying yourself by your ethnic background as being cliquish or standoffish is referred to in the second portion of the text.
The case filled with cultural figures and items related to Asian tradition reminded me of the exhibit containing the dolls in that the objects in the case were vessels for the collective memories of a community. Those objects and the traditions they are related to root people to their collective past, and therefore have a substantial impact on the formation of their identity.
The children’s portion of the museum also covered the importance of keeping up with tradition for immigrant populations. The celebration of the New Year was used as an example of how traditions not only travel with people to new countries and new homes, but they integrate themselves into that community as well, and may even become part of other cultural identities. I feel that the ability to share traditions and allow them to adapt while still retaining their essence is a fundamental tool for helping people to connect across cultures.
As I explored the Community Portrait Gallery I saw a clear continuation of the theme of identity. The variation in identity amongst Asian Americans and their struggle to maintain a sense of tradition, while still integrating themselves into America appeared to be the major concentration of the exhibit.
Though I didn’t see many visitors while I was at the museum, the couple I did see really affected me emotionally. I found it utterly charming that they were able to bond and enjoy eachothers company by exploring the museum together. I saw their affection for one another as a sign of how times have progressed beyond some of the hateful periods which the museum presents. In addition, I recognize that society still has a long way to go when it comes to creating understanding across boundaries, and I believe the museum will play a large roll in that in the years to come.
Conclusion
The Wing Luke Asian Museum left me with two major themes to consider, community and identity. Community has to do with togetherness and understanding, a community falls apart without harmony and a sense of connection. The Wing focuses not only on the exploration and presentation of the Asian Pacific Islander American community in the Northwest, but on creating a community within the museum and encouraging a sense of connectedness to the community we are learning about. The search for identity and the balancing of multiple identities was also a very important topic in the exhibits that I saw. The significance of someone’s identity in how they related to and formed different communities also came up frequently. My own identity has been shaped through the exposure I have had to different Asian cultures and individuals in my community as well as by the museum. The museum marks an important time in my past, and in a sense is part of my own personal tradition. As I go through the practice of visiting the museum I am strengthening my bond to it and the community it serves within and without its walls. I carry the knowledge I acquired there to others and am thus a vessel for the knowledge the museum has imparted to me. I hope that by visiting the Wing Luke museum more and sharing my experiences there I will be able to aid the museum in its mission to preserve the memories of Asian Americans and strengthen the ties of community as well as aid in the affirmations of identity.

Kekoa Hallett 2nd Draft

Kekoa Hallett

 

Inoperative Humvees lay quietly behind barbwired chain-link fences lining the north side of a street, stretching past hundreds of quadcons all rusting and fading. A left on J road, over a few potholes, and the drill hall is nestled inconspicuously behind a parking lot. Its double doors open up into a hallway flanked by an administrative office. Cheerless, spotless, the walls are covered in trophies awarded to the unit, framed Marine Corps doctrines, plaques commemorating Marines who have received a Medal of Honor, random baubles from past wars, and dozens of loose-leaf instructions for navigating military bureaucracy. The hallway ends with another pair of doors after which the building suddenly opens up. 45 feet above, a sheet metal roof catches and scatters the lowest notes of the voices below, recasting myriad conversations into one mutter. A pair of great gray ventilation ducts, as thick as redwoods, slither up the closest wall and through the stratosphere of the room. Fluorescents mingle with the mottled, gray, morning light filtering through the windowed pediment, silhouetting the ceiling’s latticed framework, bleaching the faces below. A terminal bridge runs along the entire perimeter of the cinderblock walls just above the heads of young men, wearing their desert utility uniforms, standing with arms crossed or sitting on a set of warped bleachers. They chat tiredly and nonchalantly about their disgruntlements, the injustices they endure daily, the forthcoming rewards entitled to them, Lance Coporal Flanneryrick will invariably creep up behind a circle of minglers and, nodding his head dumbly, dropping his voice an octave, and wiggling his eyebrows lewdly, declare how shit-faced he was last night.

I attach myself to my fellow cooks and we begin talking like back-of-the-bus yokels: “Only 48 more hours till quittin’ time, gents!”

“Perkins is fucking late again.”

“That pigeon-headed bitch is such fucking garbage, he’ll probably make us fucking inventory again for no fucking reason.”

“Yeah, while he sits on his ass and plays on his laptop all fucking day.”

The group groans simultaneously. Lance Corporal Moore has just entered the drill hall.

“Holy shit, look at his fucking haircut, he has like no fade.”

“At least he’s on time for once.”

“I want to punch his fucking face so bad. What the fuck does he fucking have with him? Is that a fucking waffle maker?”

Indeed, it is a waffle maker; Moore walks into the drill hall with an overstuffed daypack on his back and a waffle maker in his hands. A small and wiry figure, he stands at the edge of the bleachers scanning the room briefly before sitting down on a rolled up wrestling mat, alone. His haircut is very ugly; luckily, his oversized Ray-ban eyeglasses are quite eccentric and command a great deal of attention. He pulls out his Nintendo DS and begins to play, but before long a random Staff Sergeant threatens to break it if he doesn’t put it away. Moore walks up to me and begins babbling about the new video game he’s been playing, how excited he is to make waffles this morning, and the wealth of his girlfriend’s family. He shows me his new knife, which is so absurdly large and menacing that it looks like a prop. As he talks, the Marines in our platoon continue to criticize him, but he does not seem to hear. Mercifully, somebody shouts something indistinct and we all shuffle outside to form up. In between the Motor pool and a large garage, we form up into our platoons. After a half hour of tedium, we are released to our sections.

The food service section consists of three rooms: a small office with an extremely disproportionately high ceiling: a ‘kitchen’ with no kitchen appliances except for a large two-tub sink, a few shelves, and a broken outdoor grill that functions as another shelf: and a back room used for storage and to reduce the risk of being caught napping. The junior Marines file into the kitchen and begin complaining about the NCOs, the training schedule, and the ephemeral temporality of final formation. This dingy room is where most of us will spend the lion’s share of our time at drill. Sitting on a crate, Yang pares his fingernails with a knife, “You know, I’ve been in this room for three years” he giggles, “familiarity breeds contempt.” Sergeant Perkins enters from the office and the room tenses up. He tells us to start breaking out chow and adds that after we serve, we’ll be inventorying the EFK. He speaks without self-assurance and his sentences are punctuated grotesquely by dipspit. When he finishes talking, nobody moves or makes any affirmative noises. Eyes glossing over, he leaves in a series of awkward gestures and Lukyanenko swears at the door behind him.

The next scene has always struck me as conspicuously demoralizing and dehumanizing in its immutability: Sergeant Perkins, as always, having given his orders to nobody in particular, left without assigning the responsibility of supervision to any of the other NCOs. This void of authority creates an arena in which one’s apathy, fear of reprisal, and confidence in one’s ability to malinger successfully must be pitted against each other in order to determine the next course of action. For my fellow Marines, this usually means a good 60 seconds of comatose deliberation during which I grab Moore by the back of his collar and covertly drag him into the back/nap-room to begin our interview.

Moore appears to be content sitting down. I take a moment to stare at him, to try and ferret out some essential quality about his face, some tiny facet of his personality that might help illustrate the whole. His eyes are half-blackened by the shadow of his brow, he raises a fist to his mouth and rolls his fingers around, he licks the inside of his cheek, yawns and smacks, the gestures of domesticated herbivores. I mutter loud enough so that he can hear, “simple bovine eyes” and stare at him gauging his response. I don’t perceive any response and so we start the interview.

“When did you know when you wanted to be part of the military?”

“Probably like nine or ten…”

“Can you trace it to an experience? When was the first realization that you wanted to wear the uniform?”

“Yeah, I don’t know, probably just movies or something… I don’t know I just wanted to wear the uniform and it’s like the stuff in the movies it’s cool, but it’s unrealistic, well back then it was now it’s…”

“…”

“…”

“Okay, so how about you give me a time line of your life leading up joining the Marines?”

“Born in Bremerton, moved to Bellevue, I’m an Aquarius, joined Marines, originally was going to join Army, went to military school, and then high priority for high school students so I was the secondary.”

“And that’s why you joined the reserves because you just wanted to get the hell out of there?”

“Yup.”

“Why did you want to leave so bad? Was it just money?”

“Yeah I only had like twenty dollars and I was living with my ex-fiancé.”

“Oh, the one you’re living with now?”

“No, no—”

“So, there’s another lady, before, the uh, Asian broad?”

“Yeah, I don’t know, I got a thing for Asians, yeah but my ex-fiancé or my almost, yeah she’s Vietnamese.”

“You tried to join the Army and ended up in the Marines. How’d that happen?”

“Well, I got rejected by the army because I had some court stuff, they wouldn’t even work with me or let me work out with them. So, when I left the Army recruiting station a Marine Recruiter was right there and he asked me a question led me to talking about Marines—”

“Do you remember the question?”

“No, I don’t know, but he got my attention and he did the whole sales person thing and I just sort of fell for it.”

“You just fell for it?”

“Uh, at first yeah, but then with the Marines I realized, that they work harder and stuff and I could even tell with the poolees and stuff, they stand out. Like, I worked out with the Navy and their workouts were just playing volleyball indoors. The only reason I even considered the Navy was cause the recruiter was pretty hot. I would have joined for her.”

“Sure, a girl worth fighting for.”

“Asian too.”

And so it goes, our unproductive tête-à-tête, searching for insight somewhere within his memory. I’m unable to get him to describe a moment in his life where he self-actualized or even just stop things from happening to him automatically. We touch on his childhood and he stands fast, concerned only with banal details: places he’s lived and which version of Pokémon he was playing while lived there. We speak about boot camp and he talks at length about the ferocity of his drill instructors. While we are commiserating about our time spent there, the door slams open and two of the Marines in our platoon, Lau and Vanderkooy, walk in.

“Oh shit! It is super official in here right now! Alright, I’ll be asking the fucking questions around here, boy… you got any questions you wanna ask him?”

“What makes you cry?”

“Movies where the dog dies… I like dogs.”

“Who cut your hair?

“Yeah, I did, and my girlfriend helped out at the end. It’s a bad haircut, I’m gonna borrow money to get it fixed.”

“What are you most proud of, Moore?”

“I got a job at secure-task in the Microsoft division, get overtime, get paid to basically sit on my ass.”

“Where do you live, Moore?

“Bellevue, Victoria”

“Who do you live with?”

“Girlfriend.”

“I thought you guys broke up.”

“We’re on the—we’re basically almost there.”

“Why, Moore?”

“We’re different, she’s upper-class, I’m not and personality is just so different.”

“Is she Asian? And you’re just white?”

“I like Asians.”

“Why?”

“He watches anime that’s why”

“You like the, the animated porn?”

“No, creeps me out.”

“Good.”

Moore describes a violent hentai that he and his friend watched when he was 15 that turned him off to the genre. Vanderkooy and Lau continue to press and he speaks a little bit about his childhood. His mother raised him and four siblings on $900 a month. Corporal Roze walks in.

“The PFCs don’t know how to make the fucking cornbread and brownies so get in there and help them.”

The motions of drill don’t change much from month to month. We, the junior Marines, grudgingly obey the inane commands of our NCOs. The greater purposes of our duties are almost completely unknown; bits of hearsay are weaved together with furtive glances at officer’s clipboards and pig-headed pessimism to form blurry figurations of the day’s schedule. The overwhelming sentiment in the cook’s platoon is one of impotent insubordination. Every order is carried out with disinterest, thinly veiled exasperation, or outright disgust. However, these discontents are quickly abated by our collective élan or by an invigorating and frequently cynical sense of humor. Through some process hitherto undescribed by science, rote tedium and insultingly valueless tasks are transformed into the foundations of impregnable friendships. I turn to my fellow Marine, currently engaged in wiping off pubic hairs inexplicably attached to the bottom of a toilet seat, and, my face assuming a gross caricature of military doggishness, snap to the position of attention. I sound off:

“Report your post!”

Diaz snaps up and responds in kind:

“Good afternoon sir, Lance Corporal Diaz reports the junior enlisted head all clear! The count on deck is four shitters, four pissers, and two garbage Marines! There is nothing unusual to report at this time, sir!”

“Very well, carry on!”

I give him a swift salute with my hand just below my waistline and about-face. Before I leave, somebody in the stall grouches:

“Will you fags shut the fuck up? I’m trying to shit.”

“As I was,” Diaz responds, “The count on deck is four shitters, four pissers, and three garbage Marines.”

“Fucking retards.”

Sometimes it is not enough to be able to bray and holler and dig one’s knuckles into somebody’s ribs, as the day wears on, and as tempers become unmanageable, Moore receives a greater amount of abuse. His actions and inactions alike are criticized harshly by all present. Whenever he leaves (and sometimes when he enters) the group mocks and mocks and mocks him until we work ourselves into a mania. At that point, one of us makes some violent gesture that draws the attention of an unsympathetic NCO who orders us to clean the head or take out the trash. As we take the garbage to the dumpster Sergeant Saga walks by us, points at Moore with all fingers extended, and says,

“Why are you so goddamned fucked Moore?”

“Aye, Sergeant!”

“Don’t ever fucking look at me, you child rapist.”

Having concluded this mentorship, Sergeant Saga walks on, leaving Moore to contemplate his role as a whipping boy.

“It’s probably my glasses,” Moore says, turning towards me, “But, I found them for free and they’re exactly my prescription.”

Something?

Moore lives with his “it’s complicated” significant other, Nicole, in Factoria. Their apartment, paid for by her father, is unassuming and clean. The large planes of unadorned white walls command most of the interior, though one corner shows evidence of pleasant human congress and the glow of habitation. An oversized flat screen television is suspended above a cubby shelf filled with the colorful titles of an immense collection of video games and consoles. As Moore and I settle around his dining room table, Nicole flips through a magazine on the couch.

“Okay, let’s talk about how people in our platoon treat you. Why do you think you get so much shit?”

“Because I’m immature and I made like a bad first impression.”

“Yeah, yeah, what do you think that impression was?”

“I’m bad with direction, pretty dumb, and that I’m lazy.”

“Do you think these are true?

“Half and half… I make dumb decisions, I’m bad with directions.”

“Do you mean directions like cardinal directions, like north south?”

“That too, you can ask me to go grab something from the refrigerator and I can’t find it.”

“That’s why we break up.” Nicole chimes in

“Yeah, she asked me where’s the closest way to my heart and I said over there, wrong direction, right?”

“Yep.”

Moore chuckles, but I don’t feel any of the tension leave him, Nicole, or myself. Throughout the day, Moore and Nicole will denounce each other like this, tackily and directly, as if they not only endorse this pettiness, but, having already settled comfortably in the atmosphere mutually assured destruction, flourish in it. Nicole will emasculate him by flirting with me or discussing the abounding finances of some dreamboat in her class and Moore will retort by mentioning some salacious detail of their sex life.

“Do you feel a sense of fraternity or camaraderie in our platoon?”

“Oh yeah, with ours, we all fuck with each other, but I think if something’s going on we’ll all help each other out. Sergeant Saga will, as much as he hates me, he’ll help me out.”

“So, you know all these things people say about you, when Lucky and Lau are talking all this shit about you, how do you deal with it?”

“In one ear out the other because they’re opinion about me is not gonna change. I can tell, I could easily be all macho like everyone else and it’s not gonna solve anything. Whatever, just get my shit done, do my MCIs and I’ll just get corporal.”

“Okay, so how do you want people to perceive you? What do you want people to say about you?”

“Damn, I’m sexy. Good looking. [To the cat] Isn’t that right? Fuck, I look good, that’ll be my quote. Cause I do look good. I’m very narcissistic about myself, looks wise. I just know I look good and I’ve noticed that. I’ve noticed myself noticing myself. Now, I’m just babbling on, wasting your time.”

“No, no, please, believe me.”

“But, my way of thinking is different than others though. Cause I don’t really have a big ego. Even with my Mom, I’m the odd one in my family. I’ve always wanted to go to Japan, and it’s really easy for me to learn Japanese, but I quit that class.

Wrapping up?

Memory Draft

Distant Memories
By: Andrea Allen

My great grandfather Percy Vere Broughton was born in June of 1890 and he was one of the many sons of his father John Broughton who was born in England. Percy was very young when he and his father traveled by ship to America. Percy grew up in Kansas and after he married his wife Emilie Watts Broughton (Heaton) and they had a few children, Percy left the farming fields of Kansas and followed a friend across the plains, northwest to Washington State, where he and his family settled into the country side near Kelso. Percy began working alongside his friend at the local saw mill for quite some time, before he was offered a new and dangerous position within the company, a position in which another worker had recently been killed. Having five children and a wife depending on him, he turned down the job and quit the mill. Even though my grandmother was not born yet, she remembers him very distinctly saying “No I don’t believe a man with 5 children has any business doing that type of job.”
My Grandmother Vivian Louise Broughton was born on June 19, 1928, a year before the Great Depression. She was born in a large, one room shack, on a small farm outside of town. When she was a young girl the one room shack became the family chicken coup and a new, larger family home was built nearby. “The new house seemed quite large to me at that time, even though large back then was nothing compared to the houses now a days.” She told me with a small chuckle, as she sat across from me, her hands gently folded in her lap, her greenish-gray eyes sparkling beneath her lightly rimmed glasses. She paused and glanced upwards, obviously trying to remember the old shack but not being able recall any details. Shrugging, she continued on. “the new house had four bedrooms two upstairs and two bedrooms downstairs, a wood “heating” stove that was located in the dining room and a wood cooking stove that was located in the kitchen.” Her voice raised slightly as she continued her story. “The new house did not have running water and I had to gather it from a well, which was located outside the house quite a ways by using a bucket.” She laughed while make a flicking motion with her wrist she explained to me just how tricky it was and how it took a certain flick of the wrist to acquire a full bucket of water.
Her father was unemployed during the Depression, so their family grew lots of strawberries to meet the monthly expenses and my grandmother remembers planting and selling these to the Washington Co-Op Cannery when she was a young girl. “Strawberries and filbert trees,” she said with enthusiasm in her voice. “There were 2 types, one type which was shaped more like an almond but it was a filbert and the other one just looked like a plain old almond. You need both for cross pollination you see.” Using a tone of authority. One of my grandmother’s earliest memories she recalls was when she was a little girl around the age of 6. “Christmas came and my sister’s bought me a doll buggy and a Shirley Temple doll and Instead of playing with my doll, I remember taking my kitten Patsy, putting her in the doll buggy, and riding her into the pasture down and all around.” Making a swirling pattern in the air with her fragile, slight bluish and peach tinted age spotted hands, she continued speaking about her other adventures with Patsy.
Before 8th grade my grandmother worked for Bushman’s Farm picking strawberries, young-berries and raspberries. She saved every cent in order to purchase the bike of her dreams. When she had finally saved enough, her mother and father took her all over town to find the perfect one. “I Looked at Montgomery Ward, then went to the Sears in Portland, then returned back to Montgomery Ward and ended up getting the one there.” She said before pausing and pondering for a minute. “I was 2 dollars short when I went to pay the $29.00 for my bike, so my father covered the remaining balance.” Smiling then elevating her tone a little her eyes widened, “The bike was a top of the line bicycle, it had a basket, it had a place over the back wheel to tie luggage for your school books and so forth and as soon as I got it home I started riding it to school every day.“ When it was time to go to high school, she no longer rode her prize possession, but instead she caught a Gray Hound bus by flagging it down on the side of the highway.
My Grandmother met my Grandfather, Earnest James Officer when she a junior in Vancouver high school. “We had locker monitors, I would sit in the hall and different ones that would want to come to the lockers during that time, would have to bring a signed slip. Your grandfather was home on leave and he was visiting the school and his old comraderies ya know, being a typical male he said “do you know what time it is?” I said NO why you don’t look at your watch! and your Grandpa Officer just grinned.” she laughs and continues ” All the time he was home on leave he would come back and visit with me while I was being a hall monitor and he wanted to take me out, but I would tell him no way, I live way out in the country and there are gas rations on.” Pausing for a moment she continued. “So anyways we didn’t go out.”
I couldn’t help but laugh, obviously they had gone out again or my mother or I wouldn’t be here. “Well hold on, so he went back in spring; back to the base. I was working that summer at Montgomery ward then about 2 weeks after school starts, I am going out the door, when he was coming up the stairs and we just about ran into one another and knocked each other down!” She pauses and laughs, excitement dancing in her eyes and in her tone. “We went together for a week and got engaged! Ernie returned to base and got orders for Japan.” Smudging her lips and rubbing her hands together, I could see the excitement building. “So I’m in school, it was October, I’m in speech class and he comes walking in the door to my class!” Her eyes raised and her voice elevated. “I thought he was headed to Japan! But now he was standing in front of me, discharged from the Army Air-Core! So we went together the rest of my senior year.” Changing to a lower tone she continued. “Graduated in June and then we were married August 23, 1946 I had just turned 18.”
My Mother Emilie Louise Officer was born on June 29, 1962. She was the youngest child of 5. One of her earliest memories was watching her mother and father crouched down on all fours picking weeds out of the family vegetable garden. “My mother and father would keep themselves occupied for hours in that garden.” She said with her voice raised slightly. “They were very good parents, they had us in church every Sunday. Your grandma played piano for the church and even though your grandpa wasn’t in the choir, he would spend the rest of his Sunday’s walking around the house singing songs from the Hymns. Church was important” She said with a smile. Looking over at my mother, sitting calmly in her chair across from me, I couldn’t help but smile myself.
When I was a young girl I used to look at my mother the way a fan would look at their idol. Even after having 4 children, she was a size 6 and still able to fit into a pair of Daisy Dukes. I remember her always being out in the yard working on our property of 5 acres or planting flowers in nothing but a bikini top and her favorite pair of Daisy’s, her body was lean, toned and bronzed by the sun. I remember how jealous I was of her beauty. She had dark brown hair and light blue/green eyes, olive skin and a small frame. I was blonde, had ugly hazel/green eyes, an awkward frame, pimples on my chin and the fairest of the fair skin. I felt inadequate beside her but proud that I had such a Betty for a mother. Now grown into a woman myself with a child of my own, my mother seems so small, so fragile. Her dark brown hair is now slightly peppered with silver flakes and her thin oval face is now streaked with time, the past, present and future dance in her light blue/green eyes and her faultless white teeth illuminate the space between us.
Burien was the town that my grandparents settled in after they were married, located just 20 minutes from the outskirts of Seattle. The idea of this rural area becoming a city was addressed numerous times in the 1960’s but each time it went to vote, it was turned down. The City of Burien was finally incorporated on February 28, 1993. My grandparents bought a two-story home on 3 acres in June of 1950 and shortly after, they began buying up numerous homes and lots around them. Eventually, becoming landlords of the entire block. It wasn’t long after the Airport expansion project in the 1960’s, this rural community became an urban metropolis. numerous people from the big city had moved into the area, bringing the city’s problems such as corruption, drugs and violence with them. When my mother was a teenager she remembers the infestation of drugs in the community. “I can’t remember how many places nearby either sold or did drugs in my neighborhood, but I do know that it was common to go babysit for a couple and instead of being paid in cash they would leave a bowl on the table.” My mother said with a look of dismay.
When my mother was in 2nd grade she was at recess playing hopscotch. “I was approached by this cute little blonde haired, blue eyed girl and she asked if she could play hopscotch with me, later that day after school she invited me to her house and from that day forward Molly and I were inseparable, if I was not at her house, she was at mine.” My mother said with a light smile and a blink. One day Molly took my mother down to the stables where she kept her pony. When they returned from the stables my mother begged my grandfather to buy her one and soon after her request he did. “We used to ride everywhere!” My mother said in a raised, excited tone. “We had other friends with ponies too, so as a group we would spend our days riding down the park trails, through the open pastures and over to the beaches. If we would get hungry we would just pull the ponies up to a café or store and tie them up outside, I remember doing that many times at Basket and Robbins.” She said as she laughed.
My mother found out quickly that Molly came from a very different family lifestyle than she did. “Molly’s mom was an alcoholic that would take off for days at a time and leave Molly and her 2 sister’s home alone to fend for themselves. During her absence the girls would come and stay with me at my house.” She said before she glanced over at the window. I could tell that she was thinking about something that troubled her deeply. “One night I was in the living room reading and I heard someone pounding on the front door. When I opened it I saw Molly standing there with ripped pajama pants, a white t- shirt that was covered in dirt and a dust stained face that was wet from her tears. She was screaming at me to let her in and to hurry because a woman was after her and she said she was going to kill her. I let her in and my mother covered her with a blanket and led her to the couch in the living room.”
“She told us that she was in her room reading, when she heard a car pull into the driveway, the door opened and she could hear the voice of her mother and another unfamiliar female voice. She was laying down just about to go to sleep, when she heard angry footsteps approach her door. A woman she had never seen before, busted through the door and started screaming and cursing at her. Molly told us she was confused and scared so the only thing she could do was run. She ducked past the enraged woman and ran straight out the front door, she tripped on the stairs and ripped her pajamas before she fell flat on her face. She said it hurt, but she was so scared and she could hear the woman behind her cursing and telling her when she caught her she was going to kill her, so she got up as quick as she could and started running. She ran all the way to my house which was almost a mile away.” My mother said with sadness mixed with a little anxiety in her voice. “My mother called the police and Molly was taken into state custody that night. Molly spent her 12th birthday in a foster care holding facility. The next day she was released to my parents and soon after she and her sister Teresa were legally adopted by them.
When my mother entered Jr. High, her days were no longer spent on the back of ponies, she and Molly now spent their time hanging out with friends. My mother started to notice that Molly was not the kind and innocent child she once was and even though she was highly liked by many people at their school, Molly had a strange malevolence to her. “Molly was very little and very cute and she was very popular, but she loved to hurt people or see them get hurt” My mother said with a questioning expression on her face. “One day when we were in Jr. High this kid John Blake was walking down the road alone and we were walking towards him, when we got to him, Molly stopped him and told him to pull down his pants. He refused, so she told him, that if he did not do what she said, she was going to have all 6 guys she was walking with jump him. He refused again so Molly signaled for the boys to jump him and they did, they beat him up pretty badly.” She said with a look of sorrow. “There was also this time when I was in 5th grade and I had just recently became friends with Sherry, you know the Sherry Parkin we are still friends with today?” She half asked me and half told me, I nodded. “Well little Molly did not like the idea of having to share me, so one day Molly came up to me and told me that Sherry had said some awful things about me, I don’t remember what was said, but I do remember that I was very upset.”
“The next day I saw Sherry standing outside of school and I lunged at her and just started hitting her as hard as I could, she seemed quite upset with me too so she did not hold back either and we beat one another up pretty bad.” She said as she laughed. “The next day I had bruises up and down my arms.” She showed me her arms and pointed where the bruises would have been, if they were still afflicting her today, then continued. “Well I felt really bad the next day so I went over to her house, she saw me and both of us cried, hugged one another and said we were sorry. After we apologized to one another we tried to explain why we were so upset, but after a few sentences, we knew that whatever Molly had said to Sherry about me, was the same story that Molly told me about Sherry.”
Molly got pregnant at the age of 16 and had a little boy, shortly after giving birth she took a turn for the worse and started using drugs and drinking alcohol. When the baby was a couple months old Molly left the child with his father and became an alcoholic and avid drug user. She met a man a few years later and became pregnant again, this time with a little girl. He was a good man and treated her and the baby well, she cleaned up and they got married. A couple years later Molly relapsed and Dan, her husband wanted her to go to rehab, once in rehab she met another man and before she knew it became pregnant with her 3rd child. She was terrified of Dan finding out so she led him to believe it was his child when she returned home. After the child was born, Molly relapsed once again and the girls stayed with Dan. “Molly became involved with a man that was part of the Resurrection Motorcycle Club shortly after her and Dan split. This club was closely affiliated with the Banditos.” My mother said in an elevated tone. After this was said, I was curious about this Resurrection and Bandito Motorcycle club, so I did a little research.
According to an outlaw biker gang website the Banditos are a “one-percenter” motorcycle gang with a membership of 2,000 to 2,500 persons in the U.S. and in 13 other countries. Law enforcement authorities estimate that the Bandidos are one of the two largest OMGs operating in the U.S., with approximately 900 members belonging to 93 chapters. The Bandidos are involved in transporting and distributing cocaine and marijuana and are involved in the production, transportation and distribution of methamphetamine.” So regardless, Molly was hanging out with a dangerous crowd. It wasn’t very long before she found herself using methamphetamines and heroin on the regular. When Molly was about 26, she had gotten pregnant again by her dealer who fed her heroine during her entire pregnancy. When they broke things off, she was 8 months pregnant, strung out and she had nowhere to go; so she went back to my grandparents’ house.
After the child was born, Molly would drop her off at my grandmother’s friend Monas so she could go get high. “One day Mona was babysitting and she heard a knock on her door, when she opened it, there was a grungy looking couple asking to look at the baby, Mona was confused and asked them to leave. The couple promised that Molly had given them permission to look at the baby and possibly take her with them.” Mother said that Mona told Grandma the next day that she was sure that Molly was trying to sell her baby.
My Uncle Terry was born June 25, 1958. When he was a young boy he enjoyed fishing, collected (comparing them to my grandfathers) and building model cars. My mother’s earliest memory of him, is when she was sitting at the table eating breakfast and she looked over and saw him standing in the doorway with his fishing pole in one hand and a tackle box in the other, waiting patiently. When Terry entered elementary school the teachers didn’t know what to think of his inability to read, so they sent him to a special school. “There was nothing wrong with his eyes.” My mother said with a sincere tone. “ I think it was dyslexia, but it was such a long time ago and such a rare condition, most people didn’t know what to think about it, so he was sent to a different school, a school where they sent anyone with a disability.” She said getting up and heading toward the kitchen to get a glass of water.
When Uncle Terry was a teenager he began hanging out with two brother’s and moved into an apartment with them when he was around 17 years old. “I was in my teens, probably about 14, when my friends and I would go to his apartment.” My mother said as she adjusted herself in her chair. “I remember walking in and seeing powder, marijuana and pipes laying on the coffee table. Even though he was strung out half of the time on PCP, his place was a lot of fun to hang out in.” My mother said as she adjusted her sleeve. My Uncle Terry had also fallen into the pit of addiction. He not only consumed drugs on the regular, but also started selling different drugs like coke and PCP. He began making quite a bit of money. After moving into a nicer home in the South Park district in which he ran his business of paraphernalia, Uncle Terry was about to find out what kind of trouble dealing drugs brings.
One night when my Uncle Terry was sitting at home he heard a car’s tires squealing outside and in a split second “BANG BANG” Terrified he fell to the ground and army crawled to his nightstand, he grabbed his Smith & Wesson Model 351C and opened the door, just in time to see the 1962 Monte Carlo speed off into the night. When his lease was up, my uncle moved into a home my grandfather owned and when my mother realized he was basically staying there for free, she asked my grandfather if she could move into it since she had a job, 2 kids and she was pregnant with her 3rd. Grandpa agreed and asked Terry to move out. Terry had nowhere to go, so he moved back into my grandparents’ house.
It didn’t take long before Molly and Terry partnered up and continued the business in the upstairs mother-in-law apartment upstairs. Even though my grandparents lived there, neither one of them had enough strength to climb the rickety stairs up to the apartment to see what was really going on, they probably just figured that the people who frequently visited the house where friends of Molly and Terry. After my grandfather passed away in 1997 the amount of frequent visitors grew and soon the house was swarming with people from all different walks of life trying to get a hit. My grandmother only standing 5’0 tall and weighing 120 lbs, dared not to get in their way, so she spent her grief stricken days, captive in her bedroom only coming out to eat and visit her other children who would stop by occasionally with their children.
I remember being a young girl around the age of 6, my mother had to run, errands so she dropped me and my 2 brother’s off at grandmas. My Uncle Cary was also there with his 2 boys visiting. It was a hot, sunny day so all of us kids went to the backyard. The yard was square and in the middle there was a vegetable garden. On the side of the house was a large wired fence that separated grandma’s house from the neighbors and the back of the property was lined with cherry and apple trees. When we all had gotten done playing in the trees and eating the tomatoes from the garden, we noticed that the house next door was buzzing with noise. We looked over and there was probably 9 Hispanic children and one lone black girl standing outside yelling over to us. My cousins and I all walked over to the fence and before we got there one of the kids threw a piece of fruit at us and called us a name, I don’t remember which name it was, something like white trash or hippy but I do remember my cousin Casey who was about 4 years older than me, picking up a piece of fruit and throwing it back at them calling them spics and niggers. This name calling continued until one of the children opened the door to their house and started yelling for their parents (who were notorious drug users and dealers.) All of us kids ran into grandma’s house and went to tell Uncle Cary what had happened. Before we could even explain there was a loud knock on the door.
My Uncle Cary answered the door while my younger cousin Jason and I held on to the side of his legs. There in front of us stood a massive black man that stood about 6’4, his pupils where dilated and he was angry. He yelled at my Uncle and told him that his kids where calling his little girl a nigger and before my uncle could say anything the man decked him in the jaw with his fist. My uncle was caught off guard and stumbled backwards leaning down trying to protect me and Jason. My grandmother saw the commotion outside and grabbed a worn broom. She went out the side door that led to the shed and started yelling “get away, get away!” before hitting him with the butt end of it
Without hesitation the man who was clearly under the influence of more than just alcohol, grabbed my brittle grandmother and threw her to the ground. She curled up in the fetal position and He jumped on top of her and began hitting her over and over. Uncle Cary came at the man and pushed him off of her. The man got in one good punch before he jumped over the small entry gate and disappeared into the night. I remember crying as I walked up to my bruised, bloody, unconscious but brave grandmother.
When my grandfather passed many of his possessions began coming up missing. The pension checks from Boing that used to sit and wait for grandmother in the mailbox where no longer there, the World War II gun collection my grandfather cherished disappeared, the valuable coin collection vanished. Grandmother didn’t know who or what was to blame, but she did know there was a wretched menace in her home. She canceled her mail service and got a P.O. Box, she locked anything of value in her room and if she ever got money she would keep it in an envelope in her front pocket. She had become a victim of circumstance and after the home was raided by cops and she was thrown into jail over night because they found an entire drug manifestation in the mother-in-law apartment, she knew that she could no longer live in a place she didn’t feel comfortable or safe.
My grandmother sold her home that she and my grandfather had lived in and raised their family in when I was 15. She lost almost everything valuable and precious to her. Once able to travel and buy things of value, she could hardly afford her electricity. The homes she owned where sold in order to purchase 500 acres in the country and eventually a dream ranch, but because of the loss of so many pension checks and valuables, she could no longer afford the property so she sold that as well. Everything except for a small piece of property and two rickety shacks is all that my grandmother was able to keep.
Molly has since fallen harder into her dependence, she does not see any of her children or grandchildren and rumor has it she frequents the corner of aurora and 69th during the night to fund her addiction. Terry is 54, numerous years of hard drug abuse has left him disabled and unable to care for himself. He has never married and still lives with Grandma.
If the city had not become infested with drugs and my grandmother’s children had not turned into addicts, she would have been set for life, probably in a home, on a buffalo ranch somewhere out in the country like her and Grandpa had always dreamed of. To this day, my grandmother still does not hold anyone accountable for what was lost. She is not sorry for how her life turned out and she knows that this life is temporary and what is really important is God and family.
As I sat across from my grandmother I couldn’t help but see a distant dim light in her eyes, a light that many would think was just the glare from the lamp hanging above, but to me it was much more, it was a light of a distant memory. A memory of the house that sat on the corner of 124th and Main. It’s December, snow falls ever so gently outside the window, all 5 of the children and a small blonde haired, blue eyed girl are opening their Christmas presents, Grandma is sitting at the piano playing Christmas Hymns and Grandfather is standing behind her singing Amazing Grace.

Beginnings of Oral History

Kenna Titus

05/3/15

Oral History Project

At age 9 I went to see the Diary of Anne Frank, and found myself wrestling with heavy survivor’s guilt. I was an odd kid, a complex mix of intelligent, vivacious, and hugely sensitive. This left me in a constant battle between wanting to know everything, and being heartbroken by the truth; a contradiction I experienced perhaps most strongly as I learned about the holocaust. Growing up in a reform Jewish community I attended religious school twice a week, where there was a strong focus on learning the history of the Jewish people. This meant a lot of talk about the holocaust, from watching videos and looking at pictures of the camps, to discussing interpretation of Jewish laws during that time, to hearing the stories of survivors. On these days I could often be found crouching on the green tiled floor of the temple’s basement bathroom, wiping away tears and fighting an inner battle between the desire to hide my feelings, and the fascination that the information held for me. It took many years of wrestling with my empathy and my identity before I gathered the courage to learn my own family history. I was struggling with my place in the Jewish community, both because of my political beliefs and my skepticism in the face of traditional faith, when my strong interest in the holocaust reemerged. I felt a strong tie existed between my religious disillusionment and my connection with this traumatic event that had occurred over 50 years before my birth.

The search to find my family’s story led me quickly to my uncle, an Israeli judge, special forces commander in the IDF, zionist, and father of four, who had made aliyah (immigrated to Israel) at age 18. Though I was closer with my grandmother, and they were more directly her relatives, I knew that if anyone would have done all the research and be able to tell me exactly what had happened it would be my uncle. I phrased my email carefully, avoiding any and all phrases that could spark a theological debate. In answer, he sent me his “report from the IDF battalion and company commanders’ course delegation to Poland”, a personal essay he had written for family after his trip. While in Poland he had visited many of the camps, even seeing the shower chambers where his wife’s family members had been gassed. In this paper he also include the research he had done before the trip, upon learning that millions of testimonials could be found online, where he had followed my great grandmother (granny’s) family tree:

“So I took the Binstock family tree which a cousin of Granny had sent her… and immediately found about 12 testimonials, all filled out by that same cousin of Granny.  A great many of the descendants of Avraham Binstock (one of Great Grandpa Yitzchak’s eight siblings) were murdered at the time that the ghetto in the Galician town of Tarnow was liquidated by the Nazis.  Of those, most were executed on sight when found hiding together in a basement; one of Avraham’s daughters was shot along with her child, when trying to sneak out of the ghetto during the liquidation and that daughter’s husband was taken in by a gentile, who later shot him to death.  Avraham himself was murdered in Auschwitz.  I also found a photo of the Mathausen concentration camp information card about another of Avraham’s adult children.  Most directly related to us was Great Great Grandma Miriam Feige… who moved with Great Great Grandpa Aron Wolf to America (along with Great Grandpa Yitzchak).  After Great Great Grandpa Aron Wolf passed away, Great Great Grandma Miriam Feige went back to Poland and was killed in the holocaust.”

Reading this essay my uncle had written swiftly brought me to tears, and I realized in this moment how deep an effect anti-semitism and the trauma of the holocaust had on my life, despite never knowing my own family’s sufferings. This led me to my interest in this project. I have a strong desire to better understand communal traumas, and how they shape generations removed. From descendants of African American slaves, to native people (here and elsewhere), to Japanese Americans who faced internment, and so many other communities who have been shaped by oppression or genocide, there are people walking through our lives today who still bear the scars. But for this particular project I stayed close to home, focusing on the Jewish population and talking to a rabbi and a couple of my peers about the ways we have been effected. I think Rabbi Edelman summed it up well when he said during our interview “It is rather a huge kind of thing when you think about a country that was on the leading edge of science, of philosophy, of culture, this is not in my lifetime but in people who are around today’s life time, this in not ancient history… To think that the modern world could go so nuts. Think about it, people coming into your house, kicking you out, throwing you into concentration camps, killing your people…” We all grew up with this knowledge, this fear and sadness and sometimes even guilt, and it has been a fascinating journey to begin understanding the impact that has had.

What first struck me when I began to think about the holocaust in depth within the context of our lives today was that in many cases we were literally created by this event. So many families were torn apart and later reformed in new and complicated ways, and these events led to the birth of our families. This struck me as the most immediate effect on our lives, and a good place to start because it serves as an indisputable way in which some of my generation has been affected. This thought was confirmed for me as I began my interviews and people shared with me the stories of their own family’s experiences and histories. A student around my age named Aryeh who I spoke to shared his story:

“It’s just on my dad’s side, my mom’s family had been in the states for a few generations…  my dad’s side they were in Poland and my grandma was actually dating my great uncle, my grandpas older brother, I think they were in a relatively close knit Jewish community in Poland… They got exiled from Poland and ended up in Germany in the camps, both my grandparents were in Auschwitz…So my great uncle I guess died in the camps, so later my grandma was trying to get in touch with him and couldn’t but she got in touch with his brother, and they ended up getting married… but a lot of that side of the family was lost… even the people that survived had a lot of trauma”

Aryeh’s family would have been completely different without these events. His grandfather wouldn’t have been his grandfather, they might not even have left Poland. He and his family are, in a sense, entirely a result of the holocaust. Rabbi Edelman’s story also reflected this effect:

“My wife… both of her grandparents were married before the war. Both had families, one had two kids one had five kids. Both were sent to concentration camps. Their wives and kids were all killed. [My son] was named after my wife’s grandfather… He was on a train to Auschwitz and they broke a window in the corner of the train and people were crawling out. He was pushed out of that corner and he was shot twice by the Nazis, but he made it. He lived by himself for two and a half years in the woods in Poland… His father was killed in front of him… My wife’s other grandfather’s wife and three kids were killed and my wife’s grandmother… she was an Auschwitz survivor. So you just think about the weight of that, to live through that, to remarry and have another family, it’s [unfathomable].”

Somehow, they did make it through. People lived and relocated and remarried and eventually, generations later, we were born. Of course many Jews today, myself included, had family in America far before the holocaust and are not ourselves related to survivors. And yet my education, sense of self, and worldview were interminably affected by this event, and in this way “created” me.  And so, as it was the great resilience of these people that created our  lives and our culture  today, I am left wanting to examine this  strength of the human spirit: the resilience and bravery that has become myth.

 

Kekoa Hallett Draft

Kekoa Hallett

Week 5/6 Draft

Inoperative Humvees and trucks lay quietly behind barbwired chain-link fences lining the north side of a street, stretching past hundreds of quadcons all rusting and fading. A left on J road, over a few potholes, and the drill hall is nestled inconspicuously behind a parking lot. Its double doors open up into a hallway flanked by an administrative office. Cheerless, spotless, the walls are covered in trophies awarded to the unit, framed Marine Corps doctrines, plaques commemorating Marines who have received a Medal of Honor, random baubles from past wars, and dozens of loose leaf instructions for navigating military bureaucracy. The hallway ends with another pair of doors after which the building suddenly opens up. 45 feet above, a sheet metal roof catches and scatters the lowest notes of the voices below, recasting myriad conversations into one mutter. A pair of great gray ventilation ducts, as thick as redwoods, slither up the closest wall and through the stratosphere of the room. Fluorescents mingle with the mottled, gray, morning light filtering through the windowed pediment, silhouetting the ceiling’s latticed framework, bleaching the faces below. A terminal bridge runs along the entire perimeter of the cinderblock walls just above the heads of young men, wearing their desert utility uniforms, standing with arms crossed or sitting on a set of warped bleachers. They chat tiredly and nonchalantly about their disgruntlements, the injustices they endure daily, the forthcoming rewards entitled to them, Lance Coporal Flanneryrick will invariably creep up behind a circle of minglers and, nodding his head dumbly, dropping his voice an octave and wiggling his eyebrows lewdly, declare how shit-faced he was last night. I attach myself to my fellow cooks and we begin talking like back-of-the-bus yokels: “Only 48 more hours till quittin’ time, gents!” “Perkins is fucking late again.” “That pigeon-headed bitch is such fucking garbage, he’ll probably make us fucking inventory again for no fucking reason.” “Yeah, while he sits on his ass and plays on his laptop all fucking day.” The group groans simultaneously, Lance Corporal Moore has just entered the drill hall. “Holy shit, look at his fucking haircut, he has like no fade.” “At least he’s on time for once.” “I want to punch his fucking face so bad. What the fuck does he fucking have with him? Is that a fucking waffle maker?”

Indeed, it is a waffle maker; Moore walks into the drill hall with an overstuffed daypack on his back and a waffle maker in his hands. A small and wiry figure, he stands at the edge of the bleachers scanning the room briefly before sitting down on a rolled up wrestling mat, alone. His haircut is very ugly; luckily, his oversized Ray-ban eyeglasses are quite eccentric and command a great deal of attention. He pulls out his Nintendo DS and begins to play, but before long a random Staff Sergeant threatens to break it if he doesn’t put it away. Moore walks up to me and begins babbling about the new video game he’s been playing, how excited he is to make waffles this morning, and the wealth of his girlfriend’s family. He shows me his new knife, which is so absurdly large and menacing that it looks like a prop. As he talks, the Marines in our platoon continue to criticize him, but he does not seem to hear. Mercifully, somebody shouts something indistinct and we all shuffle outside to form up. In between the Motor pool and a large garage, we form up into our platoons. After a half hour of tedium, we are released to our sections.

The food service section consists of three rooms. A small office with an extremely disproportionately high ceiling, a ‘kitchen’ with no kitchen appliances except for a large two-tub sink, a few shelves, and a broken outdoor grill that functions as another shelf, and a back room used for storage and to reduce the risk of being caught napping. The junior Marines file into the kitchen and begin complaining about the NCOs, the training schedule, and the ephemeral temporality of final formation. This dingy room is where most of us will spend the lion’s share of our time at drill. Sitting on a crate, Yang remarks, “You know, I’ve been in this room for three years.” “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Sergeant Perkins enters from the office and the room tenses up. He tells us to start breaking out chow and that after we serve, we’ll be inventorying the EFK. He speaks with out self-assurance and his sentences are punctuated grotesquely by dipspit. When he finishes talking, nobody moves or makes any affirmative noises. Eyes glossing over, he leaves in a series of awkward gestures and Lukyanenko swears at the door behind him.

Field work essay

Tara LaChance

May 1, 2015

Memory Essay #1

 

 

 

My father’s parents both died before I was born.  My mother’s parents didn’t have much interest in spending time with or developing a relationship with their grandchildren.  They said they had raised their children and were done.  I have always had a very intense longing to have grandparents who would tell me stories about where they came from and my heritage, to take me places and spend time with me like I saw so many of my friends’ grandparents doing with them.  For this reason, I decided that I would seek out a person who I could ask the questions that I would have asked my own grandparents.  I really wanted to find someone who emigrated from Italy, since that was where my father’s grandmother came from, and I feel more connected to that side of my family (even though I never met them) than to my mother’s side.  But, as fate would have it, I came across a woman who emigrated from Germany, which, by coincidence, is where my mother’s grandmother came from.  So, this is her story.

I didn’t seek her out. Instead, she just happened to be sitting at the front desk of a recreation center for senior citizens that a friend took me to one day.  I went in with the intention of just asking if they had anyone there who had emigrated from Europe and would be willing to speak to me about it.  As I was asking the receptionist at the front desk if she knew anyone who may fit these criteria, there was a woman sitting with her back to me, maybe a foot away and had been talking to the receptionist when I walked in.  The receptionist said, “Well, she is from Germany and has a lot of great stories” and points to the woman sitting in front of me.  The woman slowly turned around and I said, “Great!  Would you be willing to speak to me?”.   “You’ve come right at lunch time”, she answered, “but I can talk to you for a few minutes.  Let’s go in the back room where it’s quiet.”

I introduced myself and she did the same.  Her name is Hermina, and she was born in Berchthegargen, Germany in 1929.  She is about 5’2” with a round figure with an accent but very adept at the English language.  She has short, white hair that comes above her shoulders with loose, sporadic curls and is pinned up on both sides with gold barrettes.  She wears a gold necklace with a cross, gold hoop earrings and small, frameless glasses also with gold accents.  Her eyes are blue and you can tell that, in her youth, she was a beautiful woman.

Her parents were Austrian, she makes sure to tell me, but she was raised in Germany.  She is kind and open, willing to tell me whatever I want to know.  It seems as though she is happy that I am interested in hearing about her life, although her demeanor is not overly friendly, I still feel an instant connection with her.  Maybe partly because the great-grandmother on my father’s side that I mentioned I had wanted to interview…her name was Erminia.  What a great coincidence!

Her mother died when she was 10 years old of ovarian cancer, and Hermina was put in to a foster home.  Her two brothers and one sister were put in foster homes a well.  She goes on to explain that her father died a couple of years later but she is unsure of how.  In the middle of this, she interjects, “And then the war happened”.  “Do you remember much about the war?” I ask her.  “I remember everything” she replied.  “Would you mind telling me about it?”  She begins right away: “We of course had the bombings.   I slept in my clothes for three years straight because you never knew when the bombs would start and you would have to go to the bomb shelters.  We had the black-out windows, all the windows blacked out.  And then it got to the point where we got bombed every hour, on the hour, at the end of the war, you know.  Sometimes we run for the bunker and if it was too late and they closed the bunkers up, then here we are out and the bombs are coming down.  Then we hit the ground and as soon as we got, we made a circle and we dashed to the next building which was a school house, down in the basement there during the bombing.  Bombing was hell.”

She lived in Munich, on the opposite side of the mountain where Adolf Hitler lived, she tells me matter-of-factly.  “Were you afraid of Hitler?” I asked, very quickly she says no.  In the same breath, she goes on to say, “You have to belong to his party or you didn’t have a job.  People wanted to work.  My father and mother, they had four kids, they needed work you know.  But uh, I don’t know of anyone that got by Not belonging to his group.  He held a Christmas party for all of the families with four or more children every year and we all sat at long tables and we each got a gift.”  She looked forward to attending that every year, being young and not knowing any better, she explained.

She saw Hitler in person once as he went through the town in a parade.  “We were all on rations, and the rations were very small.” She doesn’t show any emotional effect when I ask about Hitler which I find interesting.  Also during my questions about Hitler she told me that her blood brothers who were also sent to foster families, both had to go in to the German army during the war.  I asked if they were forced to go in and her response was, “Well, they were 16 and no parents, what are they gonna do?  You join the army.”  She continues by saying, “One joined the SS because it paid more but not the kind of SS that was in a concentration camp, he was in with a fighting troop.  He lost a lot out of his back and he lost a leg. The other brother joined in the fighting because that’s all he wanted to do.”  I asked if she ever spoke to her brothers about their experiences in the war but she ignored the question and moved on to talk about her brothers and their families, so I left it alone.  She is the only one left out of her family now.

Outside of Munich was a concentration camp, she tells me, called Dachau.  “Did you know what was happening to people there?” I asked her.  “No, no, no, we didn’t know what happened inside of that until after the war. What the American’s said” she tells me.  “But uh, I was supposed to have had an uncle in there but I never did find out who he was or what his name was, I never saw him after the war so evidently he was one of them that…” she stopped there, right in the middle of that thought. After the war, she goes on to tell me, they went in and saw the “burners” inside of the Dachau where they burned the people. Also a tree that supposedly was used to hang 800 people a day.  She says it just didn’t make sense to her because there was not a scratch on that tree.  I had never heard of this camp so I Googled it when I returned home that day and found this information.[i]  “Dachau Concentration Camp was the first of its kind opened in Germany by the Nazi government in 1933, and it served as a model for later concentration camps. Designed to hold Jews, political prisoners, and other “undesirables,” the camp is now a memorial to the more than 40,000 people who died and over 200,000 who were imprisoned here during the Nazi regime. The memorial was established in 1965, 20 years after Dachau was liberated by American forces.”

She recalls how the school children in her town were given the rations to deliver to families in the area every week. They gave them the addresses and a package of what goes to each family.  She spoke about how sugar was “almost impossible” during those times.  She wanted to bake a cake, so she saved up the sugar rations for three months in order to have enough.  While she was waiting for the cake to bake, bombs were falling, everything was rattling, but she wanted that cake so badly, she just stood at the oven and waited for it.  Her foster parents owned a restaurant so she said that she didn’t feel hungry during the war.  They had access to a garden and they were also able to go to other towns to get meat from butchers.  Her foster mother was very strict, she and the three other children had to sit down right away when coming home from school to do their homework before they could play or do anything else. She describes her foster father as “really a nice guy.”  She gets the first smile on her face so far and remembers, “We used to get in to trouble together.”  She describes her childhood as “beautiful”.

One time, a plane was shot down in Munich where Hermina lived, she was only maybe 11 years old, her and several other children wanted to “see what he looked like”.  She thought that the pilot was an American.  They began to run towards the plane and they began getting bombed.  One of the other kids, a boy, yelled at her to run for her life, in a zig-zag pattern.  She didn’t end up seeing the pilot’s face but when I asked if the plane was, in fact, American, she told me it was actually British.

I find it so fascinating that she was a part of that time in our history and wonder how it must feel to be able to look back and say that you lived through all of these things that so many people want to know about now.  Over the course of three interviews with her, she says several times, “You know, I’ve had good times and bad times”.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[i] www.viator.com.

Shifting Sands: Deep Memory Project

The Chehalis River Valley connects a series of rural communities in southwestern Washington primarily located along the aforementioned waters. Adna in particular is a peculiar region within the greater faction in the sense that its positioning between the progressive urban centers of Portland, Oregon and Seattle, it continues to remain sequestered along the coastal foothills west of development as it seems to always have been. Chehalis(Łəw̓ál̕məš), or otherwise known in the Tsamosan-Coast Salish language as shifting sands defines perfectly the experience residing along its banks. Like the constant flooding, meandering, destruction, and recreation of the land yearly, so too are the memories and histories of those who have settled here. This equilibrium is not a new phenomena to the area but rather has been a process of accretion and reciprocity for generations. This ethnography however, moves upstream through the past and acts more like bioturbation than a linear passage. Moreover, what attempts to be accomplished are the transgressions on time and space this community has encountered and how the experiences and actions of individuals through traumatic or pivotal events on the landscape has reinforced that perception.

Adna’s story is not the beginning but serves more as a continuation of diffusion that has existed in the region for countless centuries. Prior to the era of contact and later the homestead act in the mid 19th century the region served as a vital transportation hub for the indigenous communities throughout the northwest. Conveniently located through a relatively flat passageway to the south towards the Columbia connecting both land and waterway to the west, and safely through a series of trail systems through the Cascades controlled primarily by the Yakima peoples (through a balanced reciprocity system) linked together a crossroads of trade networks affixing the area with cultures’ commodities as far reaching as Mexico. This expansive trail system was observed firstly by Russian, French, and Spanish fur trappers and tradesmen as early as the 18th century and later the encroaching pioneers and cattle drivers who used the very same networks. By the mid 19th century the establishment of Claquato (now abandoned) and others to the north such as Tumwater, Alki, etc established the foundations for the present industry and roadways such as highway 30, Interstate-5, and others. As Pacific Union brought track lines to communities along the Chehalis the demand for officializing towns with railway structures gave Adna its name inspired by Edna Browning, an important early figure in the Euro-American settlers.

Predominantly agriculturalists and timber specialists were attracted to the area’s natural abundance of prairie lands, wildlife, and old growth and remains to be the majority of occupations held throughout Lewis county today. People mentioned throughout the pages to follow continue this legacy and are vital to the function of this community’s prosperity. The significance of traditions practiced in Adna by people such as Tom Paulin; a retired Yugoslavian-descended lumberjack as well as Mike and Liz Powell; German independent tree farmers are becoming more idiosyncratic to Adna and other surrounding unincorporated communities as the encroachment of land management companies such as home development firms and major players like Weyerhauser along with rising real-estate and other advances of modernity continue to permeate the countryside, the collective nature of core-values is changing while simultaneously shrinking the isolation and pastimes of the region.

Spring time in Adna is full of energy as the break in the dreary, wet winters experienced dissipate into fresh wind. Riding in the back wagon of Tom’s 1940’s Red International tractor leftover from his father the air is crisp and full of budding smells of wild grass, conifer, and flowers which traverse through the tips of your senses and passes by with the diesel fuming out the pipe. Heading into the grassy alfalfa pasture the sun hits the wall of evergreens in front of us like diamonds as the the fresh beads of rainwater shimmer and dance among the needles. Four hundred yards out leans a barn next to the creek which overflows into a large pond after storms. Brown and grey from weathering, yearning for a purpose again. “ My dad built this one right around ‘45 and was used for mostly grain storage in those days instead of all my nicknacks in here – watch yourself on the nails coming up” says Tom as we step over some scrap wood beams entering the dusty, dank, structure looking for spare parts to reinforce our chicken coops after the last storm damaged the rigged together frames.
“see originally this whole field including where Mikes’ and my trees are now used to be open for Cattle grazing until about the ‘70s when we sold ‘em off but now I just keep my lumber scraps in here until this place tips over for good, but that’s okay, I always got the other one down back at the house.” While continuing to determine which roofing tiles and spare beams would hold up the best I became intrigued with the scenery no longer in front of me and began to ponder about how the relationship with the land has changed throughout a lifetime, and how it has provided for the well being of the community.
“ Just about everyone in the area up to Galvin over there by Centralia opened up to Cattle back then but that all started to change with the protections of state forest lands so the incentives for timber rose up again and we all replanted, and that’s where I found my calling was working outside in the woods. I tell ya, I tried college for a little while, I was actually studying engineering but just one day hit a wall and couldn’t hack it so I dropped out and got work in a saw mill – and it paid pretty well too. It was tough work but by’golly I loved it. Even the winter jobs up in the Cascades where one time it snowed on us all night and by morning we were cuttin’ through logs with snow up to here (signalling with his hand to his chest) but that’s alright, it makes a good story anyways.”
Like many Pacific Northwest dwellers, the importance of trees and forests are personal and imperative to our understanding of the world, and most importantly the landscapes of our memories like Lou Paulin: Uncle to Tom and an original family settler to the property we all live on today who also greets us back at the more structurally sound barn next to the road strung up with white lights and painted with Cadillac Ranch along its side. Sitting at the cinderblock fire pit next to the original once white-now cream colored 1920’s bungalow home Lou waves to us and explains seeing us cross out into the field made him curious as to our adventure. Instantly after beginning to tell him about the transition to the lumber industry he chimes in; “oh you bet, I remember when we planted this one right here (pointing to the windy, curving Gravenstein apple tree) along with all them trees out there (pointing out into the field of 70 year old douglas fir and hemlocks). Of course there was more of these apple trees here then, we had an orchard here when we first moved to this place before the depression, and that’s what really fed us and our neighbors, this here is the only one left, the flood took out the other two still standing and one fell over from rot – what was it, 3 years ago now? anywho, I miss those times. It was the best time to be alive. People shared and worked together to get things done, and you could trust em too. We all knew each other. Not like it is today with how crazy everything is, I watch too much news ‘cause now I have nothing better to do and everywhere seems like they’ve lost their minds. You couldn’t pay me to go to Seattle now, you just couldn’t.”
After hearing what Lou told me it made all the more sense about his character as being my neighbor who looks out in the field of grass all day for no reason at all, his purpose became clear. He wasn’t seeing the land before my eyes, none of them were, but rather the ghosts of old workers, the faint sounds of field songs, and rumbling of old early century machinery.

The Midnight Ballerinas(but like not done)

Stephanie Zavas

In Search of Lost Time

6 May 2015

                                                           The Midnight Ballerinas

Chapter One: The Place

The middle-class thread count of the sheets on her bed made an elegant effort to trace my skin, one of the only parts of my body which hasn’t aged the same as the rest of me. I make more money when I let them touch my skin; I learned about touch and its grace. Lovely, soft, there are tingles on my stomach and that light part on my… sides. Grace and disgrace. Foreign and foul, the beauty of something so carnal when it happens and leaves the lingering sting that makes me hope I dry out and crumble like dead laves underfoot because it is taken and not a gift, an asset of lust-slaking, faking moods to appeal to that throbbing I go to

grab

touch

A grace like women administering poison.

It’s dim inside because it’s lit up like midnight and sunset and Christmas lights. Wrapped around those old carpeted pillars, the ones you see when you’re broke and desperate for a place to stay to uncramp stiffened legs from driving and sleeping in the trunk of your car, those square beams always grayish mauve in centrally inconvenient middles of Super 8 motel lobbies, have dusty once-white rope-lights. Vaguely imply that they ‘wish you to execute caution when navigating through this toolshed cluttered space.’ It’s full of empty chairs, like flimsy cookware from the dollar store- new maybe, but looking so used they defy the natural half-life decay most elements possess, even though no one, not even the owner, can remember the time they were hauled in and displayed as furniture.

All we ever really remember about it is it’s small and dark and the airs is broken into levels of heavy and light, so that sometimes we get light-headed from how thinly we breathe and other times our limbs are pressed into ourselves, concentrated and unconsenting.

The green bar straw she twirls in her mouth always, as much a prop as it is a tool and no one has really noticed or cared that it gets shorter after each bathroom trip or the way she gently sniffs; the drips. Coke, she says, tastes a little like mustard powder or something, it’s bitter and sustains its flavor in the numb halitosis of the back of her throat. It gets thick there, coating her tonsils working like vapor rub, icy hot compress of conduct; [something]

I’ve only known new girls to remember their first day stripping. We don’t forget it but it blends into so many other times when there’s a first and then another and never an end.  It’s cold or hot and hopefully you’ve gotten fixed enough to lie, first to those men and then to yourself. [Don’t you like it?] And with the buzzing tone of being stoned and such gourmet music you want to take everything off and no you don’t it’s gone and here is this dirty stage and that oily Mexican man with his sweaty palms, that thud and throb first heard in his chest but then is everywhere.

Green straw, bathroom stall.

Someone left their drink in there and now it’s empty.

Those Christmas lights are bigger and glow with angel’s halos and sparkles falling twinkling like God’s-eye smiles

I like it when you spank me hard– sometimes she thinks of her boyfriend, but not always. It feels good. Clammy hand that stutters, sticking touch glitches at the momentary friction…Because it finds that complimentary damp between those legs

Just victims of an in-house driveby

They say jump and you say how high

Want it?!

 

A groan. He likes knowing his lap is making her wet. That extra dollar for the jukebox was worth it because it pays off tenfold for a lie neither can tell is fake or not. Still nascent music channels through something like a straw into her head and the man is faceless and nothing and somehow everything she wants fits in the chair that is too small to dance for so you dance on it, within it, pushing the cushions so her knees fit in with a forgettable half-second protest

Yes yes yes turn it around wind it back down feel it all coming so close that she don’t remind herself or anyone of the love that we’re all missing out on

We all know love is what we’re missing out on.

Oh baby, you know I’ve always liked girls and touching them, feeling such soft skin

Lovey, you forgot the song, forgot when he spanked you again and I traced those lips,

Not the ones we’d all imagine.

[Please honey, let us do it again because we like you (I know I do)]

 

My notebook becomes a coaster in the back room. It’s very small and narrow and the electrical outlets don’t work and the one chair in there right in the corner is broken. So it’s like an old office chair that leans all the way back it’s either empty or full of a bunch of them getting ready and they’re getting ready in the best way they know how. It’s adjacent to the dance rooms, there’s two of them, private dance rooms

You can hear everything the guy is saying and the stripper is saying and it’s a private dance room. They can hear the slapping, the smacking, Don’t do this’, Do it more, hands on and if you don’t have your wits about you, shit goes south fast.

 

 

Chapter Two: The Sky

She starts off by telling me how thin the plywood is in the back room. She’s probably never said anything so politely before.

“Honey, you better watch out about what you say in those rooms because you don’t know who’s listening back here.  You gotta be careful, you know?” She tells me this because she’s got the scoop on me now and she can relate to me.  I’ve done bad stuff, she and I both share and keep secrets.

“Look at me, no I know it’s hard,” and then she mutters offhandedly, “something has happened before, but like, here’s the deal…” In the back room the lights on the vanity are mostly missing, we’ve got two or three bulbs maybe, and the rest are just empty sockets.  The flashing lights from the stage illuminate most of the room; she and I look through the fiber optic field at each other.  And she grabs my chin, starting, “No, you look at me and you listen.  I’ve been in the industry for 25 years I hate this part because it’s poorly written. Sorry.

Draft From My Final Paper On Wing Luke

Tasia Siereveld

5-5-15

In Search of Lost time

Wing Luke: The Heart of Seattle’s Asian Pacific American Community

I’m strolling along in Seattle, but walking beneath the iron and glass pergola hugging the corner of Pioneer Square Park, I can almost imagine that I am strolling through a European metropolis on the cusp of the 20th century. This is something I love about Seattle, it’s many faces have a way of transporting you to a different time, and sometimes, a different place: The Beaux Arts of Union Station captures the love of Parisian architecture of the 1920s, the Space Needle takes you back to the post WWII era which marks the love affair so many architects had with everything outer-space. All of these stylistic expressions of Seattle have a special place in my heart and in my childhood, but the district of seattle which I formed an affection for in the closing chapters of my childhood can be found as I step out of Pioneer square, and into the International District.

It is difficult for me to clearly explain why I feel such a profound connection to the International District, which prior to the 1970s was still referred to as Chinatown. In truth, I think it is due to a whole host of reasons, some obvious and some hidden even from me. I suppose my love for the neighborhood began to form the first time I visited the area at the age of thirteen. In the 7th grade I had joined an after-school club for Japanese culture enthusiasts. Though I loved the idea of travel and foreign cultures, I had not formed any special interest in Japan(though I had family members who were Nipponophiles). The reason I joined was due to my great admiration for the teacher who organized the group, but I quickly grew very interested in the subject matter. At the end of the year, as the grand conclusion to the group’s time together we took a journey to Seattle’s International District(IND). Our first stop, the place I will always see as the heart of the district, was the Wing Luke Museum. The museum is dedicated to preserving the history and culture of Seattle’s Asian Pacific American community. The International District is one of the only communities of it’s kind on the US mainland, a remarkable collection of cultures are woven into it’s history, including not only Japanese and Chinese, but Filipino, Korean, Vietnamese, etc.  Because of the area’s complex population, there are many complex matters which the Wing Luke Museum, which is a community based organization, would have to consider as they design their exhibits. They are also questions I must consider if I am to better understand where I feel I fit into this community which I admire so much. In this paper i will be exploring some of the themes I can distinguish throughout a choice few exhibits, and why I and others like me have formed a connection to the IND through this museum.

Expanding and Strengthening Community

Upon my return to the Wing Luke Museum this year I rediscovered that feeling I had at 13 when I visited, the feeling of connectedness, the notion that I was a part of the community I had come to learn about.

Walking up King St. on my way to the museum i could smell the roast duck that was hanging in the window of the Fortuna Cafe, as well as the heady aroma of dried spices wafting out of a small chinese grocery. The heavy wooden doors leading into the Wing Luke Asian Museum causes a rush of air to be dragged into the building as they swing open, sending the massive colorful wind chime overhead into a frenzy. I inhaled deeply, as I usually do when stepping into when stepping into what I call “a learning place.” I do the same thing when I step into a library or a theater hall. There is something intoxicating about the smell of books and the silent energy of minds at work. I walked up to the front desk eager to begin my own learning journey, and purchase my membership. I informed the girl at the front desk of my mission, to explore the museum and it’s representation of the community. The young women looked genuinely pleased with this, “Well we certainly appreciate your interest.” she said. She told me that she could get me in touch with the director of educational outreach, and that they would make sure I got access to all the resources I would need. She then handed me a small map of the museum and gave me some information on the exhibits and upcoming oral history tour. I noted how warm my welcome was, as opposed to the rather stuffy receptions I have received at some other museums. I glanced at the pamphlet for new members, “It’s Your Museum!” it read.

I decided to spend the few minute I had before the begin of the oral history tour in one of my favorite exhibits. To reach the exhibit one must climb a set of stairs which on a sunny day seem to ascend into the brightness of the sky. The stairs look to be made of old recycled dock wood, and I can easily imagine them leading out to the puget sound. At the end of the staircase there is a landing bathed in the sunlight shining through the panel of glass which forms the ceiling. The installation is titled  “The Letter Cloud”, and was designed by Susie Kozawa and Erin Shie Palmer. The walls of the hall also look to have been pulled from an old seaside shanty, covered in tar and ornamented with frosted windows glowing with candle light. The azure sky shining through the skylight is meant to represent the blue of the ocean. Hundreds of paper letters are suspended overhead by fishing line, and dance in the wake of an artificial breeze. From the end of the hall comes the sound of a gentle voice, but the words are lost in the sound of the waves until you reach the bench at the back of the hall. The voice was that of a woman reading an old letter from a young man to his love across the sea. Other readings from other immigrants followed, often read by their children or grand children. The matters of which they wrote were so relatable and timeless that i couldn’t help but feel a deep sense of solidarity with them and their struggles and their successes.The letters were read in their original tongue as well as in english, increasing their accessibility.  “A cloud of paper floats these letters across time and space…” reads a portion of the description on the wall.

The tour started on the ground floor in front of the biographical exhibit for the museum’s namesake, Wing Chong Luke. Only two other people were waiting for the tour, so the group was small. Our guide, Don, was incredibly personable; he asked where we were all from and chatted about his wife and where he was from. His casual conversational style lent itself perfectly to the tour. Throughout our time together he kept us engaged by asking us questions rather than just giving us answers, this allowed us to recognize when we were learning something new, as well as occasionally add a bit of our own knowledge to the tour. In this way we were a community of learners rather than passive recipients of information.

Don’s background was also an important factor in his aptitude as a guide, because as it turned out, he had a personal connection to the museum’s subject matter   Don’s family actually hails from the same province of China as Wing Luke, and are amongst the many families to have immigrated to the area. His memories of the area as a child brought the subject matter quite literally to life as it was embodied by him. Learning about the area’s history and culture from a person with roots in it inspired in me, as I am sure it does in others, a sense of solidarity, and connection. People help us connect because compassion is a gateway to enlightenment.

The Wing Luke museum understands the importance of  people in the learning and preservation process, which is why they make sure that the community of Seattle’s International District plays a key role in the museums design. In 1995 the museum won the National Award for Museum Services for their “cutting edge work in fostering broad-based participation in the development of exhibitions and programs.” The museum’s goal is to get the Pacific Asian American communities and the public at large to become engaged with learning about the cultures and histories tied to the IND and to participate in the growth of the museum. One way they do this is by using the Community-based Exhibition Model. Community members are involved in the process of making exhibits every step of the way, from brainstorming ideas to installing exhibits, to outreach and publicity. The team of people that puts together an exhibit always includes not only staff members, but “core community members,” which make up the Community Advisory Committee(CAC). The members of this group all have some personal connection to the subject matter of the exhibit to be created. They are the ones with authority over the the content of the exhibit, and what it’s main messages are. The CAC is also charged with branching out further into the community, inviting others to contribute their talents or stories to the formation of the exhibit. On occasion, a leader is necessary for the group to run smoothly. Such a person is chosen based upon their strong role within the community rather than a history in museum work. They will facilitate group meetings, help the museum connect further with the community, and generally sharing their wisdom.

As I learned about the process  the museum goes through to design their exhibits, and how much they value the community in the process, I began to further value where I fit into the equation. As a patron  of the museum I support it not only financially, but I come as a vessel for the knowledge and the wisdom its stories would bestow upon me. I matter in this community for the simple and powerful fact that I care. Because I care so deeply about this community and their stories, I carry them with me, and thus bring parts of the museum with me wherever I go. I  am not the only one of course, many others share my role, but our role is also an important part of the process because our passion for the museum spreads awareness to others, who in turn become interested in visiting the museum. In this way, stories and community keep history alive.

Alzheimer’s: Caught Between Two Worlds- excerpt

Alzheimer’s: Caught Between Two Worlds
Vairea Houston

I watched as the perfect pink rose I had set on my grandmother’s casket was lowered into the ground. Beautiful and serene like her that rose would remain within the ground. I don’t think you can register that someone you love has passed until it’s staring you in the face. I began to sob on the shoulder of my Uncle, who put his arm around me in comfort. But there is no comfort in death, so I accepted his shoulder to shield me from my own grief. My estranged family all stood in a half moon around the burial plot while the hearse driver stayed unusually close behind, with his arms crossed. We all stood about five feet from each other, uncomfortable. Five days after her death, Oma (Dutch for grandmother) was here in Bainbridge Island, being buried in the plot her friend had given her. The day was bright but a breeze kept me wrapping a shawl around my arms, it seemed understandable that the day would keep its chill. It had hit me that I would never hear her tell a story again, or hold her hand as we wheeled her around when the sun came out to play. I hoped that she saw me from up above, and recognized me one last time.
Katrina Rutunuwu was born in 1921 in Sumatra, Indonesia to her Indonesian parents Martinez and Katerina Rutunuwu. Her father was in the Dutch army so they often moved around throughout what was then the Dutch East Indies. After Katrina was born they moved from Sumatra to Jakarta. She was one of fourteen children. One of her earliest memories is her family’s trip to her grandparents farm in Sulawesi when she was eight years old. She recalls her grandparents waking her up at 5 am to go their fields for food. An old wagon pulled them along through the fields, led by a Caribou. You can hear the fondness of Oma’s memory as she describes the excitement all her siblings felt when told they would be traveling in a wagon for the first time. She was told to wash up in the stream before they ate. She washed her face in a cold, clear stream that ran from the mountains down through their property. It was then that Oma ate her first pineapple on that field in Sulawesi, “It was so sweet and delicious” she said. It was five days of firsts for the children visiting their grandparents. They spent nights in a tree house while her grandma would build fires down below them to keep the wild boars from eating their crops. In the morning they would wake up to fresh rice from the fields, it was sweet and green. Her grandparents would make bbq corn, sugar cane for dessert, and make a drink out of a nearby tree that produced sweet and sour liquid. It was stories like this that my grandma would tell me when I was little, they were always so bright and vivid like you were watching them through a magnifying glass.
On December 12th, 2008 Oma was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. It was then that we saw her change. She began to tell the same stories repeatedly, from forgetting where she put her jewelry, to forgetting where she was. She couldn’t live on her own anymore, in case of emergencies we weren’t able to watch her 24/7. So she moved from her apartment in Bainbridge Island to Crista senior living in Silverdale, Washington. It was a small distance from Bainbridge Island but a huge difference in her lifestyle. She was limited to the amount of things she could bring with her, she wasn’t allowed jewelry, and only had a dresser in her room. She had to live with other ladies and had strict breakfast, lunch, and dinner hours to adhere to. Trips anywhere had to be done with family or on designated days with other seniors. There were days we picked her up that she asked us not to take her back, so we’d have her sleep over for a night or two. It was days like those that were painful to see. Watching my mom walk her to her room and kiss her goodbye, I saw Oma’s fear of being alone. I could sympathize with her simply from when my mom left me in kindergarten for the first few times. Leaving you in a room full of strangers around your same age, who you have no personal affiliation towards. I could tell that my mom felt so guilty leaving her there, she had switched from being the daughter to being the mother.
I progressively saw her Alzheimer’s advance within her stay at Crista. She had a harder time distinguishing our names, she accused her family members of stealing her things, and felt threatened by her neighbors and old friends. She began roaming the hallways at night, and forgetting where she was. She became beyond the services of a senior living home and needed to be in an assisted living to be completely taken care of. She was moved to Crista Shores Assisted Living in Seattle, Washington. This was where Oma spent over five years of her life and are the most vivid in my memory. The entrance gives off a warm embracing feeling that I remember mostly during the first winter she lived there. A fireplace greets you, surrounded by leather sofas, and tables offering snacks and refreshments. You receive a name tag that sticks onto your clothing. This living home consists of many hallways, all named after different types of trees. Oma was located in Dogwood, and all separate wings were locked with passcodes so seniors wouldn’t get lost. It was the rooms there that gave me the chills. They were all covered in white blank walls, hospital looking beds that were easily adjusted and very sparse decorations. Outside each room was a plaque describing the person living there, how old they were, and where they called home. She called herself Cathy here in America instead of Katrina. At the entrance to Dogwood, a sign-in book held the signatures of those that visited and the day they came. In the first few months it had only been me, Leilani (my mother), Uncle Rio, and his wife Rita who visited her. Oma’s stages of Alzheimer’s had aggressively taken over, but it seemed like only a few days ago that we found out about her disease. Other seniors wandered the hallway of Dogwood in different stages then Oma. Some were able to hold a conversation, and politely began to chat every time we visited. Other’s sat immobile in their wheelchair, watching television or just staring off. Oma spoke four languages: Indonesian, Malaysian, Japanese, and English and started to actually mix these languages together once she got sick. She became harder to understand and lost the ability to hold conversation with us.
Being around someone with Alzheimer’s means handling with their mood swings, and not looking for their recognition for your continued patience. You see a new form of this person you once knew, and so my Oma’s journey through Alzheimer’s isn’t only influenced by my observations but watching my mom see her mother differently. The absolute calmness that I saw within my mother towards Oma but also the pain of seeing someone slowly forgetting you. Oma was born into a family of fourteen children, but her memory and she could easily name every single one of them up into her eighties. When my aunt Arisa asked her, “How do you not forget some of them?” Oma replied with, “How could I forget.” And that is one of the hardest things to watch when observing someone with dementia. Memories she thought she would never forget or suddenly harder to find within the deep recesses of our minds. Oma had so many stories to share, her life was filled with love, oppression, prejudice, culture, and independence.
Katrina experienced oppression when the Japanese took control of Java on March 9th, 1942. Japanese officers began taking families from their homes and putting them in internment camps to keep the Europeans from interfering with their domination. Several hundred of these internment camps existed across the East Indies and other Pacific Islands in their control. Over 300,000 people were forced to live in them. Her dad was in the Dutch army so they were immediately placed in an internment camp in Jakarta. It was here that Oma learned Japanese. The conditions that she lived during her teen years here marked her memories throughout her life. She first experienced prejudice here in what was her homeland then taken from her by the Japanese. Every Dutch citizen was stripped of all but bare necessities and taken to prison camps. Men and women were separated from each other and placed with strangers. There were schedules and regulations in the camps, times to wake up and times to go to sleep. Jobs were administered to everyone– anything from making dinner to cleaning the soldiers’ houses. Guards were constantly around, coming in and out of homes in the camp. People were constantly fearful of the guards and making them upset could come from not understanding what they said to you in Japanese. This is one of the reasons my grandmother learned the Japanese language.

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