Pivotal Moment
Assignment 1
David Bazzano

My childhood is something I didn’t think would follow me for long after I first entered what is known as the real world. In fact, until recently the tacit culture of my upbringing was a relatively neglected aspect for my mind which resulted in a wistful longing for the escape to my memories by tasting my identity. Growing up Sicilian in America for any generation is a struggle because the history of our identity continues to largely be marginalized or exploited which has for centuries lead our customs to become sacred knowledge isolated within the family. Our natural distrust and fear for outsiders because of these mechanisms required both the history of families in this country and the old to protect what power we have by preserving without words but with magic in the form of cuisine.

Like the church or Molocchio, food in my family has always been the guardian and messenger, and listener for our lives. More than just subsistence, the culinary traditions familiar to us tell a story of who we are, and most importantly how we got here. This story however, is not written with ink but rather changes with time and history as members add to the pot. Like magic however, spells can be broken, altered from originality or even forgotten if taken for granted or dismissed which was a reality I faced when first living on my own.

Dishes which seemed ordinary growing up soon became exotic destinations unreachable as my own arrogance deceived me when placed in the solitude of unfamiliar landscapes. Having the inability to recreate the emotions which transported me away from the present, to a space and time impenetrable from the moving world or assimilation. I felt abandoned, and disconnected as if sitting at a train station waiting for my personality to arrive. What’s frustrating about de facto languages are the inabilities to translate particular emotions or state of beings inherited through tradition and the same can be said for the saudade I felt in my early years on my own. What became clairvoyant and clear to me was the center of my being involves continuing the legacy of conjuring and communicating through the experience created through cuisine. Swirls of tastes which bring colors and sensations to the mind, spices which represent so many forms of struggle and resistance, perhaps even anger or even the trance-like rhythm involved in so much of the process. Without access to these subtle feelings and ingredients, life was a very different dance I was out of step with.

If we aren’t careful our identity is extremely fragile. Who we are isn’t entirely a lengthened shadow of our environments or institutions and most certainly not on our own terms. The greatest gift is accepting where you need to go which became evident as I grew further away from my upbringing surrounded by a haven of extended family. As a society closely linked with the celestial worlds, memories and functions such as family feasts so notoriously known about our way of life are multifaceted ceremonies which help keep the spirits of those moved on, or in distant places with us through what we consume. Mangia.