When I was about 15 years old I began to have terrible pains in my lower abdomen. I was unaware of what it could possibly be and I was unaware, especially at 15 years old, that a person could feel this much pain. Later, my grandma, who had similar pains, likened the experience to giving birth.

Still, a pain so intense can’t really be understood when talked about. Even now when I look back, I can’t really begin to imagine what it felt like to have those terrible pains. Every now and then when I do have similar pains, or terrible migraines, it brings me back to the way I felt and I feel so grateful for the pain free days, weeks and even months I have.

At first, my parents didn’t know how to react to this. What could they do? I would lie on the floor in the most terrible flight of pain for 15 minutes and by an hour later I would be fine again. Sometimes they would pat my back, bring me water and talk to me. But what can you do for someone who’s problem you can’t assess and who’s episodes of pain come and go so quickly?

Looking back I know they did the right thing. That’s all they could do. In the moment when the attacks came, the feeling of pain was so intense that I could not speak. I could not explain my situation to anyone. About all I could do was try to drink a bit of water and dream that this torture would eventually end.

After some months of this, my mother had the good sense of taking me to the doctor. The doctor declared “you have stones in your gallbladder”. Alas! Just to know what was giving me these pains brought me joy! “It’s best that we operate” said the doctor. Hmm, at first I wasn’t too turned on by the idea of being ‘operated’ on. Nonetheless, I knew that the pains I had from these ‘gallstones’, as he called them, were much too terrible to handle. I would be better off risking the operation and instant death from anesthesia, which, I did.

I don’t remember much of the actual experience. I was put on the cutting table, given anesthesia and off I went. I remember slowly falling into this forced slumber and seeing the doctor and his right hand man preparing for the surgery. Later, I had the same slow waking-up experience in the same now empty surgery room.

By the time I had figured out what was going on, that I had gallstones, that I needed to be operated on, I had begun to change my diet. Before, I would have never thought about it. I was 15… Until about 12 or 13, I had only eaten what my parents had eaten and then just the things I wanted, that they wouldn’t grant me access to.
My gallbladder experience changed this. I became very interested in everything that went in my body. Eventually, I became vegan, as I found that now that I didn’t have a gallbladder my body could not process foods high in fat, like cheese and milk.

More importantly, my state of mind was forever changed. As a child I took everything for granted (as a child should). I hadn’t experienced anything too extreme at that point, nothing to penetrate the little bubble my parents had attempted to create. Now, I began to question everything. What is this food that is going in my body? What is it made of? What is the point of life? Why am I here? What will I do with my time? Do other people experience pain like this?

I was forever changed. I look back on this painful experience in a positive light, knowing that were it not for this, I wouldn’t have the ambition to do all of the things I do, that I surely love to do!