Journal Entry 4/8/15

There is a part in Swanns Way (pg. 202-206) where the narrator writes about burying memories. Swann has gone to visit Odette but she tell him she does’t feel well and that he should leave. He  think Odette is keeping something from him. He starts to obsess in his head. What is she doing, was someone hiding in Odettes house while he was there? Swann decides to go and knock on her window like he did when they were first in love. He thinks he hears a mans voice. It ends up being the wrong window, and then leaves. ” He never spoke to her of this misadventure, he ceased even to think of it himself. But now and then his thought in their wondering course would come upon this memory where it lay unobserved, would startle it into life, thrust it more deeply down in to consciousness and leave him aching with a sharp far rooted pain. I have felt this pain, the pain of a memory, that you have successfully blocked away, but out of no where it will resurface and leave you immobilized in pain. I think the memories of being hurt by a spouse or lover is harder to get over. It took me two years to just stop thinking about what I went through. I was extremely obsessed with certain people, what information they could give me, I pushed away friends, family and I just was an overall mess. Swann was so obsessed with Odette that he could not function completely. It is obvious in the way the narrator tells the story that he wants the reader to get the impression that Swann is going crazy with obsession. Being wronged by someone you love or just getting that feeling that something is not right. Hurt not only the heart, but also the memory and ones capacity to function.