I have an account on a dating website. I am only slightly ashamed. In the two years I have had it I have met two people from the site. One turned into a month long relationship with a girl named Reality and one turned right back around and walked away. Just kidding. It didn’t work out.
Most of the time I have my settings so only women identifying people can see and be seen by me, although I have dabbled in the realm of online men a few times, I am always quickly disheartened and hastily retreat from the hypersexualized verbal garbage that is tossed my way.
Recently, when I was scrolling through the profiles and found this woman who piqued my interest. I was too nervous to send her a message so I hit the ‘like’ button. Later that week I went back on and I had a notification saying that she ‘liked’ me back!!!! I was excited, but still I didn’t message her. Then two days ago I walked into Oly Coffee Roasters and there she was, behind the bar wiping down the counters. She glanced up when I walked in. Our eyes met. To me there seemed to be a recognition of our connection.
Heart fluttering I ordered and sat down, for fear that my legs would leave me laying at her feet. Once the caffeine hit my system I began to write.
Dear H—– (Her OkCupid name)
I have seen you before..
On the interwebs
Where you don’t need your mouth to speak
And confidence is more abundant with every
I saw you.
I don’t remember what you wrote, or..
I can’t think.
You are twenty feet away
With a rosebud pink dress that could
Revive wilted boughs with their natural beauty.
As if to camouflage myself within you
My cheeks flush
As eyes spark against yours
With a brief glance and a quick smile.
The chocolate in my mouth
With a worry fretted tongue
In anxiety at the thought of forming
To actually speak
To see if that ‘like’ that ‘star’ that ‘match’..
Can be made into a real connection?
P.S. This is a silly crush, I was inspired to write a
poem in honor of the moment. My hear wont break,
but whatever the case, I’d love to be friends.
I finished. Beginning to sweat, and shake, knowing that today was the day, the day that I would have the vagina to toss my guts out on the street for the gulls to eat. I packed up, waiting for her to finish talking with a customer and then made my move.
She was making a drink as I ‘sidled’ around the bar towards her. I planted my feet across from her, making that quick and glancing eye contact we had been sharing throughout the hours I had labored. I leaned in slightly and held out the note, she smiled, like she had known the note was for her the entire time. She finished pouring and set the mug down wiping her hands on a towel and walked over.
“Thank you!” she said.
I nodded and fled, leaving my breath with the note and blushing a few shades darker than her dress.
Its been two days.