Written 1/28/16

It’s now almost the end of Week 4. Oh god. I’m getting a little freaked out at this point, if I’m being completely honest. I mean, I have my outline done, which is fairly detailed, and I’m pretty happy with it. I’m constantly thinking about my story, putting together sentences in my head, coming up with things to include, all that good stuff. And yet, I’ve hardly started writing the actual thing. So I just need to sit down and do it.

I’ve also begun rereading The Stranger Beside Me for some inspiration and ideas. Unfortunately, I’m finding it just as creepy and terrifying as when I first read it. Don’t get me wrong; I love it. It’s just one of those things where I know it’s not good for me but I do it anyway because it’s so good. Except this is for school, so at least I have a solid excuse.

But back to the actual writing. I guess my issue with just sitting down and just doing it is that the whole is a bit scary to me. First of all, I’ve not actually written much fiction, so it’s different from what I’m used to. And second of all, I’ve never really written fiction (or nonfiction) in more than just very short short stories, so the scope of this project, even if it only ends up being like 15 pages, is totally unfamiliar territory. And lastly, as of now, my project is still full of potential. I mean, sure, it could turn out like total crap, but it could also turn out to be completely great.

In my head, I know that it will most likely fall somewhere in the middle (hopefully leaning more toward the “great” side), but saying goodbye to that potential and possibility by actually taking the ideas and turning them into a story is still frightening, and even a little bit sad.

But I’m going to do it, with the hope that it lives up to at least part of that potential that I’ve been imagining.