My project is finally finished. It’s different from what I’ve made before. I’m not sure if I’ve ever tackled a social justice issue before, but this was one close to home. Until being in college, I had never before heard so many stories of sexual assault from other females. They all seemed to have their own horror story; being danced on without consent, taken, drunk, into another room at a party, catcalled while on a run, stalked, unwanted hands on inner thighs… and worse.
A rage comes up in me. I feel rage that these sorts of situations have become “the norm” for women to experience. And it’s most often the women who are blamed for someone else making the decision to sexually assault them. Women are being blamed instead of men being educated on this subject. Boys need to be taught how to respectfully treat girls. I also feel frustration at how unaware men are to this issue, to the injustices women face. Good dudes, who’d never harm a woman, are still extremely unfamiliar to the issues of sexual assault. So many guys unsure what feminism actually means. It’s still treated like a dirty word; many women even shy away from the term.
A week or so after I’d been at Evergreen I went into the woods at night with two new friends I’d made, both guys. They had only shown me kindness since I’d known them, but as we went deeper into the woods, I became increasingly afraid that they might do something to me. I eventually voiced that I wanted to head back, because of a fear of the dark. They walked me back and apologized, wishing I’d feel better. We still are friends, and they’re very lovely people, but that night in the woods I was almost convinced something terrible was going to happen. My situation had provoked fear: I was in the dark woods, alone, with two guys I didn’t really know, who could overpower me if they wanted to. I’d heard about situations like that, and they all ended badly.
After that night, I was interested in the fact that’d I’d become so afraid of two perfectly good dudes. I decided to make a film about it. I realized that if something bad had happened, I might’ve been blamed for even putting myself in such a situation. “You shouldn’t have been with two guys alone. You should’ve been more aware of your surroundings.” It was “to be expected”. I could’ve been blamed for the decisions of two other people to harm me. Victim blaming is a huge issue. Thankfully nothing bad happened, not even close, but the whole experience made me think. I’m not so sure I would’ve made the film if that experience didn’t occur.
