Brian – Sunday

“…how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.. ” I add, nonchalantly, to our discussion revolving around whether or not we deserve the help we get.

“you got it…” Thom says softly, throwing his elbow lightly and playfully into my arm.

Taking It Home to Jerome

In Baton Rouge, there was a DJ on the soul station who was
always urging his listeners to “take it on home to Jerome.”

No one knew who Jerome was. And nobody cared. So it
didn’t matter. I was, what, ten, twelve? I didn’t have anything

to take home to anyone. Parents and teachers told us that all
we needed to do in this world were three things: be happy,

do good, and find work that fulfills you. But I also wanted
to learn that trick where you grab your left ankle in your

right hand and then jump through with your other leg.
Everything else was to come, everything about love:

the sadness of it, knowing it can’t last, that all lives must end,
all hearts are broken. Sometimes when I’m writing a poem,

I feel as though I’m operating that crusher that turns
a full-size car into a metal cube the size of a suitcase.

At other times, I’m just a secretary: the world has so much
to say, and I’m writing it down. This great tenderness

Brian – Thursday

Stayed in wifi-less San Bol (thanks, Gil) yesterday with Tracie and Michelle. San Bol is a cabin. A charming cabin with heated floors and hot paella but a cabin nevertheless. Sharing 1 bathroom with 12 people is not fun. Today, 14km to Castrojeriz.

 

Brian – Tuesday

Last Sleep Best Sleep

Brenda Shaughnessy

 

Life, this charade of not-death.
Amnesiac of our nights together,

overheard talking in some other voice.
The great fruits of my failure:

silk milk pills with little bitter pits.
Who talks like that? Says we are

ever-locked, leaving everything
petalled and veined the way nature

pretended. Synthesized within
an inch of its life. O the many faces

of facelessness, breathing in the dark—
as if we could shape softness itself,

mold it around us like yams mashed
against a trough by a snuffling snout.

Our own. There’s no way out. Born
to such extra, we are born to lose.

No hairy fingers tapering to threads,
grasping for some lost last use.

Once we were hungry on earth,
soon buried like root vegetables—

to starve the soil as beets do,
growing in our graves.

But now we must remember
our way back to face-to-face,

to eye to eye and hand in hand,
and lock and step and key in hole.

Remembering how not to fall asleep,
we become so desperately drowsy,

and all cells strain to slow to a stop.
All desire to choose otherwise quiets.

No, no one can say we didn’t suffer,
that we weren’t swallowed whole.

—————————————————–

About This Poem

“This poem is about failure. How we fail to live (if to live means to live fully, with awareness, connected to all things, in moments not striving to capture them or make them add up to something), how we fail to die (what is buried nourishes root vegetables, trees, air; our words spark in others, or they could, if we could only do it right), and how we let desire triumph. We want and we endlessly wish for. We suffer for that, but it’s a failure I can live with, and hope never to lose.”
—Brenda Shaughnessy

 

Brian – Monday

Here

Kim Addonizio

 

After it ended badly it got so much better
which took a while of course but still
he grew so tender & I so grateful
which maybe tells you something about how it was
I’m trying to tell you I know you
have staggered wept spiraled through a long room
banging your head against it holding crushed
bird skulls in your hands your many hearts unstrung
unable to play a note their wood still beautiful
& carved so elaborately maybe a collector would want them
stupid collectors always preserving & never breaking open
the jars so everyone starves while admiring the view
you don’t own anyone everything will be taken from you
go ahead & eat this poem please it will help