What a great day for a hike in the PNW! My friend Tory and I had decided awhile back that we wanted to do a hike together, but where? She had heard about this wonderful hike with a fabulous view. I was game…but how hard was it going to be Tory? “I don’t think its bad. I have some friends that have done it.” she said. That sounded convincing enough for me, it doesn’t really take very much most days, especially if it means I get to spend time with a good friend. Tory and I had have known each other for about a year and we haven’t spent a lot of time outside of work. We did one other group hike together before this one. She is about 15 years younger than me but we seem to have a connection, which is nice. I am realizing that throughout my life I have mostly had older friends and now that I am older I am having younger friends. Funny how that works.

I woke up pretty early as I had about a 2 hour drive ahead of me and we needed to get on that trail early so as to not be stuck at the top in the dark. I live in the south sound and she was way up North. This was fine since Oyster Dome is up near Bellingham. I decided that I would make a day of it, get out of the house, get some fresh air and just have a nice relaxing day out on the coast. (Do you sense the build up here?) As per usual I was running late. I just didn’t want to get out of bed, I had my mattress warmer on and I was snuggling with my Corgi, Sam. Who would want to escape that bliss? Well, I did not want to let Tory down, so I got up. This was usually the case with me. I am motivated by other people. If somebody is counting on me I will do whatever I can to ensure that I do not disappoint them. Now if only I could figure out how to do that for myself.

I took my sweet time getting dressed and packing up supplies into my backpack. I was carrying my REI Trail 40 for this trip. I really needed to get used to it before the big Camino trip in March. I wonder if it is something inherent in overloaded people. Being unorganized or unmotivated. This is just something I wonder about sometimes especially when I am running late and running around the house trying to get out the door. Perhaps it is just me. I know plenty of overloaded people who are very successful and seem to “have their shit together”. I myself am extremely unorganized and messy. It has always been the case. I remember my mother going through our rooms as kids and she would just bag everything up in garbage bags because I would refuse to clean my room. I mean, I knew where everything was, what’s the big deal?  I always tell myself that I will do better, but it never happens. The same is true for when I decide that I want to lose weight. I get on a great plan, start and it slowly fades away after a week or two.  What is it? What is the secret to the success of highly organized people? People who could just hop out of bed, have everything laid out from the night before, coffee is made, breakfast perfect and out the door right on time. I finally had everything together. I packed myself a great snack/lunch of cheeses and meats and nuts. I filled my water bottles and had all my first aid gear that I needed. Finally, out the door into the car. I decided not to text Tory yet, I would try to make some progress first. When not more than a minute passes and here comes the trumpet of my “Sherwood Forest” themed texts. I look down and it is Tory. “How’s Traffic?” I was so afraid of disappointing her, “Okay, Don’t kill me. I just left.” I said. She responds with “That’s perfect! I am running late too. Text me when you are close”. Ahhh, a kindred spirit. I love it when that happens.

I had to stop by Starbucks before I could pick her up, I mean triple espresso before taking a long hike was almost mandatory. However, something to always think about is the timing of your coffee and whether or not there are “facilities” on the trail. You don’t need your coffee kicking in on a busy trail with no outhouse or accommodating bush. I got my latte and went to the park and ride to meet her. I look at my texts, “I’ll meet you at the Starbucks.” Arggg, I’m at the park and ride! Okay, so I drive back over to the Starbucks and pick her up. We have about an hour drive to the Dome. This is that moment in the car when it can be really awkward silence or stimulating bustling conversation. Tory is a talker, I love it! She is telling me stories from work and we bitch about people, procedures and system issues. It is nice having a friend that you work with but sometimes you just want to leave that crap in the cubicle. I typically give myself a rule of 5 minutes of talking shop and then on to more important matters. Tory was in the military and for such a young age, is very mature and experienced. I think the military must do that to you. She is also overloaded but not nearly as much as me. I am reminded while she talks, about how not everybody has to be 100 lbs overloaded to feel exactly like me. We all have extra baggage and it is not fair to judge a persons experience in comparison to myself.

We start getting closer to Oyster Dome and we are seeing the mounds, speculating about which one we are going to be climbing. We finally found a place to park and perched my little Kia Soul on the edge of a cliff about 300 feet above sea level. There were already LOTS of cars. Oh great! That meant lots of people. Typically when I hike I try to avoid people as much as possible. Not just because I do not want to compare myself to others but because people are annoying. They make noise, are annoying and well are generally just annoying. This is proven time and time again to Tory and I along the trail. We had to walk a little bit to get to the trail head. We got there, stared up and just both let out a “Well, Shit”. It was steep, not just a gradual climb, but fucking steep. How was I going to do this. I knew we had about 3.5 miles to climb. I believe Washington Trails Assoc. says it is a 1900′ elevation gain. I didn’t even know what that looked like. What does that mean? I knew at that moment I was going to hurt, I would feel pain and I was going to have to push myself.

We started walking, taking pictures, drinking water. We just kept walking. We told each other we would just stop when we needed to and not worry about it. Then it happened, the first person passed us. It was fine, they were young, in shape, just out for a leisurely stroll. Then two older gentleman, older than me by far probably in their 60’s, passed us. Then it just became kinda a running joke. A family with their dog, a pack of about 20 college students, a guy running up the hill. You name it, one after one people just were passing us left and right. We started being ninja and taking pictures of every person as they passed us. We got them as they were walking away from us. We would act like we were taking selfies when in actuality we were creating a collection of peoples asses. These people were quick! I could see from my GPS we were averaging about 1 mile per hour. 1 measly mile per hour! I felt like I was really pushing myself too, like we were making some good time. I think it was all the stopping. Each switchback we would take a break. I finally would tell Tory, “Lets get up at least 4 switchbacks before we take a break, okay?” she complied. Perhaps she sense my need to get to the top and my slightly competitive nature. I just hated that we were getting passed, BY EVERYONE!

So I said people were annoying, right? Some of the young people passing us were playing loud music. Why would you come out to the woods to just listen to loud music and why on earth do you think everybody else wants to listen to it as well. It is completely selfish and entitled thinking. It just pissed me off and I just did not feel like I could say anything. This was a lesson in tolerance. Though I got confirmation when I glanced at a guy heading up one of the switchbacks roll his eyes. See! It wasn’t just me, I was not crazy! I told myself that it would pass, they were not going to effect my experience, only it did. Every so often, here would be someone else doing something stupid. They would take shortcuts by heading up off the trail. The sign at the beginning specifically said to stay on the trail as to keep erosion under control. The mom in me kept asking why they were not taught better manners. What was going through their mind that they were so ignorant of there being anyone else out here with them and that their actions were perfectly okay?  Why was this making me so angry? Why was I feeling like I needed to play park ranger? I kept saying to Tory that if we ever go there again we will pick a weekday so that there are less kids. When did I become such a  crotchety old lady? Though, I never did shit like these kids were doing. I kept my irresponsible nature to the confines of my home.  I always had a healthy respect for nature and respected others around me. My parents taught me that.

We new we were getting closer, people that had passed us were starting to pass us coming down. If that doesn’t bring you down just a little bit more. Then they said it, I was waiting. Somebody always says it to me. “Your almost there! you can do it!” WTF!? Do you say that to everyone? Or is it just the fat, overloaded red faced, huffing and puffin lady? This is definitely not the first time this has happened. It is actually a common occurrence. It is so humiliating. Yes sir, I know I can do it, that is why I am out here you fucking moron! I was in an REI not too long ago. I had walked from campus to get in some training and purchase some things I needed for the trip. I came to the line and there was a guy over to the side. I know I did not look fabulous or anything, I was sweaty and red in the face I am sure. I asked him, “Are you in line?” He looked me up and down, nice, real subtle dude. “Yes, I am” he replied. “Are you in a hurry” he added. I said, “No not at all, I walked here so I have all the time in the world. Bus doesn’t come for a bit” I think I wanted to justify my disheveled appearance. His reply to that was, “ahhh, you could walk back, I bet you could do it”. Really? I could? Wow, I am so glad that you gave me that confidence boost! What a cheerleader! I paused…”Yeah, of course I can.” He shut up.

I have accomplished lots of physical endeavors at my overloaded size and every time, somebody is a cheerleader. Now, I know, I am sure standard folks get cheered on too, but in my experience, it seems that I get the brunt of it most of the time. Encouragement is great, do not get me wrong, but be consistent with it and don’t be demeaning about it. It comes off as judgement. I know that people mean well but I think part of me just wants to feel like I am just like everyone else, because I am. I just have a larger pack than some people. I remember when I was running the Rock-n-Roll Half Marathon a few years ago, there was lots of cheering for people. I watched, I paid attention and I noticed that when I passed they actually said things like, “your doing great” “you got this”. But they did not say it to my skinny running mates. I know this comes off as highly defensive, but this is my experience, and I am sure others experience it too. I just want to bring awareness to how this can make Overloaded people feel.

Anyways, back on track. We finally reached the top. It was freezing and I was so glad I had brought extra clothes like my mommy taught me to do. I changed and sat down to look at the glorious view from 2100 feet! I avoided the edge as much as possible. Some people would venture right out to it for pictures and I just think they are nuts. One false step and down the mountain they go like a little slinky meandering its way down a flight of stairs. Probably would not be that graceful. More like a AHHHHHHHHHHHH,, thump……thump, thump….thump thump,thump…..SPLAT. I have to give them kudos though, that is certainly not for me. I wanted to reach out and grab Cory every time she got close. She has definitely got some balls. We stayed up there a little longer, taking in the glory of the world and trying to give our legs a break, but they were starting to sieze, we knew we better get going. This part would be easy, its all downhill. Big misconception! Downhill is not as challenging on the lungs,  but it hurts your body, big time! You are constantly pushing against your knees and legs in order to keep yourself from just running down the hill. I had trekking poles which help but they did not keep me from aggravating an old calf injury I had from a 5k i did about 4 years ago. Of course, I did not feel it while we were walking. After awhile my toes were hurting from pushing against my shoe and my muscles were getting tired.

That last mile was so long..it seemed to take forever to get to the car. It was about 4pm and people were still heading up the hill. Fuck you! There going to be walking back in the dark. There is no way someone is able to walk up that in an hour, or maybe they can. I imagine what I could do if my pack was 100lbs lighter. How that would feel. We finally got to the car and their was not a whole lot of talking going on. Just grunting and groaning and trying to get our packs off and into the car with as little pain as possible. I started the car and we were off, back to civilization and a hot shower. I was hungry and I knew that now I would have to fight my cravings. Every time I do something really active I want to just eat. I justify a bad meal because I just worked so hard. I think my body works against me. I resisted the urge. Mostly because I was so damn tired.

I woke up the next day……SHIT! Ouch, ouch, ouch….its okay..I pushed myself and I will only get better and stronger.